Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Working Life wtf?

So yeaaaa, I have been dragged to back to this place again--my dad's place.
Ever since I have holidays for sure I will be forced to come to here.
Well, not that I hate to work, just it is FREAKING BORING here! fml

Objective of me being here is to make the employees' life better.
How to say?
I do things that they don't want to do, like filling, arrange, update price list, scan, filling, and more filling.
Got me?
Blah blah blah blahhhh
My another job is to fetch my brother! !@#$%^&*()_+

I am damn lifeless now.
Everyday routine is like morning to evening work, night time usually movie/facebook/book, and a little amount of hang out.
Can't really cabut from the job though, no matter I have nothing to do I still have to stay in the office. wth right? Stupid boss. =.=

Friday, June 24, 2011

For every girls

1. 不要在哭泣的时候说气话,下决定,你会后悔的。

2. 心里能装着一些时间带不走的淡淡悲伤,也是一种幸福。

3. 有的事情,没法说明。你觉得值,就值,你觉得不值,别人说值,你也觉得不值。

4. 尽量做个优雅的女子,千万别做作。

5. 善于妥协的女人,很宝贵。但是,只善于妥协的女人,很廉价。

You know,
what you've said today actually hurts me.

I wish we could understand and tolerate each other more.

All these time,
the only thing I could do is just remain silent.

No matter what,
I will love you always.

your daughter.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

From Ugly Duckling To A Swan

Like most of the love stories at the beginning the female actress was berry berry ugly with the stupid glasses, annoying braces, tanned skin, bla bla with all characteristics that not what people called-pretty. And then after some make over like put on contact lenses, remove the braces, put on makeups, bla bla bla, taa-daa! Pretty lady! And then get her prince of charming that kind of things.

So, what's my point?

I came across with the contact lens case these few days, first is a movie, second is my cousin. third, Katy Perry's T.G.I.F. LOL They just looked so different without their glasses. :O
Ya' know, I am sort of sensitive with contact lens issue, because it is so so GELI! *for me* eventhough people asked me to wear it since I am form 1, bwahahaha, who cares! LOL

Is like, why people think glasses will make face ugly? I don't get thissssss. See an example below:

Don't you think I am cute?

Ok la, just for laughing purpose, hope I made your day! :P

And I found, most of the people, who don't read my blog, thought I am wearing contact lenses! Bwahahahahaha. Whateverrrr.


Happy father's day to every father in this world! :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Enough is enough. I couldn't bear with this anymore. My daily mind routine just spoilt, this is not the way I usually do/think, this is not the way my mind works. Stop injecting crappy stuffs into my head, I HATE IT!

These few weeks my life is just suffocating, I can barely breathe, feel free. Always have that kind of feeling that something is blocking me, can't remove it away. The factor? I would call it, peer pressure.

So what if I have a crush? So what if I just want to remain silent? What is your stand point of telling me to confess? Is that necessary? For you, right? Now, you don't have to worry about this issue anymore. I am giving up, giving up everything, I don't want to be in love, I have no interest to be in a relationship, at least for now. I don't care if you call me a homo or asexual, whatever, I don't care, I don't have more attention to care about this anymore.

Simply tired, bored to be a stalker, waiting someone's text, check Facebook everyday to see whether there is someone's name in the notification. I actually enjoyed all these, until you guys brought the issue up. Everything is like exposed to the air, and seems like you guys are trying to manipulate my style, even my direction, like what the heck. I understand what I am doing, although it seems pointless, not like what you guys think is the best-to confess.

I have plans for my life, just so you know. To be in a relationship in not in the plan until I graduated from university, so please get it. And why, ultimate reason is I think I am not well prepared. Firstly, I am a person with loads of flaw, I need to either correct it or face it. There is a Chinese proverb said that, before you love someone, you have to learn to love yourself first. Apparently, I found that I hate myself, dislike for what/who I am now. I furious for not being perfect, not good enough, not awesome. You might say, no one is perfect. Indeed, so I have a standard of perfect for myself, as long as I couldn't achieve that, I am forever a loser. For my situation now I am not suitable to have another person in my life, to be honest, I am overwhelmed with what I have now, too many advices, too many gossips. Exhausted.

-case 1-
One day I didn't receive the offer letter, one day my mind will not have peace.

-case 2-
If you like to be a secret collecter, so be it, and be responsible. What's the point of start a point and then cut it off halfway and tell us that's a secret? If is a unspoken one, why would you tell us at the first place?

I want my life back, and peace too, thanks.

Monday, June 13, 2011


























Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Vision & Lost

You know sometimes when you imgine yourself doing something, you can see the "you" in that situation. Few months ago, the "me" in the imgination world still the old look, I mean, with that blue spec. Until few days ago, when I start imagine things, I shocked and trembled, since when I start using this look? The look without spec? Without any realization.

Does it mean that I already forgot the old me? Does it mean that I am now used to this look? I am afraid, I am worried to lose myself. I really hate this kind of insecure feeling, being not myself anymore.

These 8 months, whenever I look in the mirror, at the first second, most of the time I can't sure what I am looking at is real or not, feeling at the moment is just so illusionary.

I started to wear the powerless blue spec I bought in Malacca EVERYDAY, I mean, at least try to do it everyday. Just don't know why spec can really fix all these problems, eventhough a fake one. I won't/can't to poke my eyes anymore when I am trying to do the "take off spec" action, I won't have the uneasy feel that my eyes exposed to the air *I know this is a bit exagerrated but this is exactly how I feel* and etc. Also, when I am meeting with old friends I will put on spec, maybe because I think they might not used to my new look, or I just don't want to let people what I've done to my eyes, the blue think spec was my trademark.

Last year November until now, I still having the creepy feeling that I can see myself so clear when sitting in saloon, I can see the person who cutting my hair so clear. Also when Perhentian, I don't have to use goggles with power like in Redang, goggle with power of 600 still not enough. Besides goggles, sunglasses also freaks me out! OMGWTFBBQ argh, that feeling! Everything from November 2011 is just so not right, things happen with not the way I want, my mind is just like floating, can't find a stand point, couldn't get a place to stable down. All these just drive me so so frustrated!

Apart of that, night vision! Argh! I can't drive as smooth as before when night time anymore! I can't have 100% accuracy when I drive at night! One of my relatives who did this operation told me that this is a common problem, it will only back to normal after 1 or 2 year, because the wound need some time to heal. So within these period, the amount of light reflect into the eyes will not stable. WTF!

My dad asked "how do you feel after the operation?" "I don't really like it" I replied. He showed a disappointed face. Sorry dad, I really don't mean to do it, just that, 15 year of accompanion of spec just cannot disappear just like that. This transition is not easy for me to cope with, really.

I need to find myself back again, but I don't know how, completely lost direction.

I refuse change.
I reject change.
I fear change.

Monday, June 6, 2011

















好好地认识一下我啦! :D

Friday, June 3, 2011


I have no idea why and how my gang of friends started to be so open in discussing love relationship topic. Is like our problems on boy girl relationship happened at the same time or I should say EXPOSED.

This situation last from that day I came back from China, UNTIL NOW. So whenever we meet our topic definitely will be this, couldn't escape.

FYI, I had crush on 3 people before, and the first one lasted for 8 years, yes, 8 years, you didn't see wrong. While second I would say it is just a small little admire, it lasted uh, no idea, was a very short period. And the third one, hmm, I am still having crush on him now. LOL. And if I don't tell anyone about this, others won't think that I actually have someone in my heart.

My way of admiring people just so stupid or I should say stubborn. I stalk people. I know everything of his details, family, car number, bla bla shit. And ironically, no one know anything about this. LOL. So now you can know why my first crush can be 8 years long, and that guy don't even notice, until now. Bwahahaha.

And, I think I am different with others, I won't want that person to know my feelings. Damn, I am so sick! LOL. But that's my way and I am happy with that, so, please stop convincing me to change my mind or telling me this is wrong. There is nothing wrong about in this case, right right?

So yea, I don't really want to be in a relationship for this moment, I think I am not mentally prepared enough, I need to play more, learn more, observe more, hello, I am still young!! :D