tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12596090618601732062024-03-05T12:16:35.141+08:00A Little Bit of EverythingAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.comBlogger621125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-85534216825800684252015-12-31T14:18:00.000+08:002015-12-31T14:18:06.763+08:00Some New Year New ShitHave been wanting to find a time to write, to talk to myself again.<br />
<br />
I don't remember where I wrote or said this, but when one grows older, he/she will slowly become the person he/she dislike. There was a moment one day I shocked myself because I have turned so much like my mum, luckily it was just one second. Never again, lol.<br />
<br />
Life after university honestly is not that great, at all. It's like after you got out from that place and get into this real world so to speak, and you can't see the end. I mean while in school you know you have 4 years to finish your degree, but in this 'real' world, what is the next milestone? The fact that not seeing a midpoint or an end is fucking scary.<br />
<br />
Most of the people I know would be like they want to earn 5 digits salary, they want to go to this corner of the world, they want to buy a house, a car, get married, have kids live happily ever after then die in peaceful. Is that all? Is this all life is about? Is it not these are the reasons why I wanted to get out from Malaysia so badly, to get away from all these materialistic-driven lifestyle? If not then why I am here, what am I doing here now.<br />
<br />
After graduation and got hired, my lifestyle has been gradually turning back to my Malaysian lifestyle, stay home, Facebook, read random, not educational articles, go out in the weekends. I stopped learning, I stopped dreaming big, I stopped being ambitious, why am I doing this.<br />
<br />
Can't ignore how AIESEC has changed my perspective on life; every single life we touch is an impact, I do hope I made some impact though.<br />
<br />
Another thing that makes me unhappy is that, after all those things I have done for AIESEC, I thought I will land a good job because of it, I was so confident that I will get a lot of offers and get hired instantly. However reality hit me real hard, there were times I actually broke down and thought of packing all my bags and never come back again, eventually I did not because I know if I go back to my motherland, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY. My parents will be sad to hear this but at first, when I found it hard to accept as well, why won't I love my own country? I mentioned that I did not have culture shocks when I first landed Canada, I immediately felt home. I always feel that my personality and interests are more Canadian, I always feel that I can contribute to this country, sorry Malaysia, it is not about politics, it is what my heart telling me. This feeling became more obvious the longer I left Canada, especially when I know I have very little friends back there now, those so-called best friends? They are 'busy' when I will be back, so yeah, to be honest I do not expect more as in relationship back home, I have been absent in their lives for 5 years, things have changed, people changed as well, I cannot expect them to treat me the same as 5 years ago. If there is a 5 years old child, he/she will be like 'Who the fuck are you? Are we even close?", yup, that kind of feeling.<br />
<br />
So yeah, my Chinese New Year plan will be like, stay home, munch cookies, meeting up relatives and bond with family, and of course, give my lil bro a crash course about North America.<br />
<br />
They said after working hour it's the time to work on yourself, I really need to get my shit altogether if not I have the feeling that I will regret and turn back to be an ordinary soon or later.<br />
<br />
Old as shit but here are the things I want to do in 2016<br />
1. Join Rotary<br />
2. Read marketing and leadership books<br />
3. Controlled eating<br />
4. Move more<br />
5. Reconnect old friends<br />
<br />
Basically to have a life in the new year, have something to look forward to, something to work on, something to learn, and something to appreciate.<br />
<br />
Ending my AIESEC experience will be fucking painful as it has been with me since I started my journey in Canada. Thank you for the amazing eye-opening experience. I shall grant you a separate post soon, lmao.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-64874678468279620912015-12-15T09:55:00.001+08:002015-12-15T09:55:54.334+08:00Why...because they can.Not sure why, but I kept seeing this sentence recently.<br />
<br />
One is from Promethus:<br />David: Why did your people make me?<br />Charlie Holloway: Because we could.<br />
<br />
Another one is from the recent Humans of New York - Aya's series<br />
"Why the US government declined her refugee's application?" "Because they can."<br />
<br />
Not sure where will this post brings but I am amazed by how we as human being can create and take away things at the same time.<br />
<br />
Did anyone think about this when comes to climate change? It is December here in Toronto already, but there is zero sign of snow. I can't say if this is normal because 4 years ago, I experienced a late winter as well, it was my first winter in Canada too.<br />
<br />
Maybe this applies to my current life right now as well, can I make a change? I do have choice not to live what I am living in right now, but why I am hesitating? Day by day, I am have becoming complecent to my job, or so to speak, I feel comfortable doing it.<br />
<br />
Just looked at Rotary Skyline's chapter today, it does sound intriguing, but the question is, can I committ? Is it true that work life drains your energy? Why do I feel like I did so much in university yet I always still have space for something else; in the contrary right now after I came home from work, I just do not have the energy to even think, despite I have responsbilities piling up - AIESEC works.<br />
<br />
Where am I getting into here?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-32295649867922611812015-09-19T11:52:00.001+08:002015-09-19T11:54:14.339+08:00Playing Catch UpTo be honest, I have been hesitating to compose an entry, because I feel like once I started I will be writing for at least an hour.<br />
<br />
It's been a while I have never write for myself and communicate with the inner me. Yup, have been busying writing social media posts and some works that people think that I am wasting my time.<br />
<br />
So let's see what have happened since my last entry eh. Well the actual post about myself was published on October 30th, 2013, which is like around 2 years ago, I wrote a sentence, <i>I have been getting a lot of butterflies in stomach these days, just saying.</i>" and few days after that kabaam, yours truly is in a relationship, maybe should find a day to write a post about the process and nitty gritty.<br />
<br />
2014 was an amazing one, well I had to look back to my Facebook photo albums to find out what I did this year, I can't remember a lot but IC2014 in Taiwan.<br />
<br />
Let's start with Winter semester 2014 shall we? So I went to Montreal and Quebec trip with the ISS group, it was fucking freezing but I enjoyed quite a bit despite that was my 3rd time in Montreal. And then Orlando and I single-handedly pulled the first ever (probably the last) multicultural gala in University of Windsor. Working with a diverse group could be frustrating but if you manage the time well and have a lot of patience, you will do just fine. The event was a blast, university staff loved it obviously, they are the one who always brag about UWindsor diversity at the same time keep cutting the budget of ISC. Uhmm and what else? Oh, I ended my term as VISA coordinator, to be honest it was quite a relieve, knowing that I do not have to organize event for EVERY fucking FRIDAY anymore just feel so, ah, awesome. Don't take it wrong, I love my team, well most of them, except one or two people that did not willing to cooperate and keep getting the club into trouble, for example got into a fight with the Indian Student Association, yup, thank you. Well I cried at the end too, not because of sentiment or shit like that. It was because of another team member and some stupid ass recognition, okay at this point I do not know if I should continue writing without names or just make the blog private already. Okay back to the point, your granny - me, I did so much for the school and did I expect to get anything? No, well secretly yes, but I will not go to the extend that I have to force someone to give me that certificate! Yup, someone did that to me and I broke down at the Korean restaurant, no big deal. Overall, I do love my team, and am still connecting with some of them.<br />
<br />
Hmm, is that it? I do not remember too much about school because after year 3, my priority has been co-curricular > classes, yup. Wait I do remember that I took couple photography classes that costed me a fortune.<br />
<br />
And then summer happened, went to my second NLDC in Guelph, to be frank besides being the Home Group Leader, I did not actually learn a lot of things (sucks being old in AIESEC), but I did get to meet a lot of people that are rising stars today. But it is an AIESEC, crazy shits happens, yup throughout the conference I never sleep in my bed lmao. Someone was being clingy because after the conference I will only get to see him after 4 months, and his roommate is this year Western's LCP, the awkwardness, but I bet he was drunk as fuck, he won't recognize me LOL.<br />
<br />
Okay I think that's good enough for today, because the next part should totally get its own entry.<br />
<br />
Till then,Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-84941344401353184882014-10-05T14:20:00.000+08:002015-12-31T14:21:07.787+08:00Get Shit DoneBecause I have not blogged for a while.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yeah that’s right; you heard me… I’m talking to you… I’m calling you out.<br />
<br />
I’m looking you in the eyes, (ok well, not really since you are probably reading this article, but figuratively, I am burning a cyclops type hole in your face right now) and telling you that you don’t stand a chance.<br />
<br />
I’m telling you that if you can read this article, look through this list and not claim it as your own, then you should be a little worried.<br />
<br />
Actually, you should be very worried. You should drop everything and immediately question your existence on earth. You should find a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, raise your hand and slap yourself in the face.<br />
<br />
Got it? Now repeat that until you come to your senses and continue reading whenever you’re ready.<br />
I’m Talkin’ ‘Bout Street Skills Son!<br />
<br />
I’m not talking about the: study hard, party light, graduate top-of-your-class skills.<br />
<br />
I’m not even talking about the: slack-off, skip class, smoke weed, drink and party but still graduate, skill-set your $50,000+ diploma has lead you to believe you have.<br />
<br />
“I’m talking ’bout, step out your door, make some moves, and get-some-shit-done, kind of skills! Some, move out your mama’s house, quit your job — say “fuck the world” — and then actually go do it, kind of skills”.<br />
<br />
The kind of skills you develop in the real world, outside the bubble of your parents protection or the ideological indoctrination that has overwhelmed our entire educational system.<br />
<br />
Skills that can be had by anyone willing to pay the price to get them. Skills that are quickly becoming extinct.<br />
<br />
I’m talking about skills that cannot be taught in a classroom or in a textbook. Skills you can only learn by doing; by learning how to fly after jumping off the cliff.<br />
<br />
Skills that can only be developed when you find your true self. When you put yourself on the line or otherwise expose yourself to the possibility of failure.<br />
<br />
The skills you can only develop when you are willing to risk it all in order to do that one amazing thing.<br />
<br />
Skills that up until now, you thought you had.<br />
<br />
“Basically, what I am trying to tell you is that, in this game called life, you don’t stand a chance…<br />
<br />
1 :: Because You Have Not Failed Enough<br />
<br />
Because you are comfortable in your mediocrity; because you choose not to try.<br />
<br />
Because it is easier to talk about learning that new (programming?) language as opposed to actually learning it.<br />
<br />
Because you think everything is too hard or too complicated so you will just “sit this one out”, or maybe you’ll, “do-it-tomorrow”!<br />
<br />
Because you hate your job but won’t get a new one; because it is easy to reject rejection.<br />
<br />
Because while you’re sitting around failing to try, I am out there trying to fail, challenging myself, learning new things and failing as fast as possible.<br />
<br />
Because as I fail, I learn, and then adjust my course to make sure my path is always forward. Like the process of annealing steel, I’ve been through the fire and pounded into shape. The shape of a sword with polished edges and a razor sharp blade that will cut you in half if you are not equally hardened.<br />
<br />
2 :: Because You Care What Others Think About You<br />
<br />
Because you have to fit in.<br />
<br />
Because you believe that being different is only cool if you’re different in the same way that other people are different.<br />
<br />
Because you are afraid to embrace your true self for fear of how the world will see you. You think that because you judge others, this means that those people must, in-turn, be judging you.<br />
<br />
Because you care more about the stuff you have as opposed to the things you’ve done.<br />
<br />
Because while you’re out spending your money on new outfits, new cars, overpriced meals or nights at the bar, I’ll be investing in myself. And while you try to fit in with the world I’ll make the world fit in with me.<br />
Because I will recklessly abandon all insecurities and expose my true self to the world. I will become immune to the impact of your opinion and stand naked in a crowd of ideas; comfortable in knowing that while you married the mundane I explored the exceptional.<br />
<br />
3 :: Because You Think You Are Smarter Than You Are<br />
<br />
Because you did what everyone else did; you studied what they studied and read what they read.<br />
<br />
Because you learned what you had to learn in order to pass their tests and you think that makes you smart.<br />
<br />
Because you think learning is only something people do in schools.<br />
<br />
Because while you were away at college, I was studying life; because instead of learning about the world in a classroom I went out and learned it by living.<br />
<br />
Because I know more than any piece of paper you could ever frame from a university. Because smart is not what you learn, it’s how you live.<br />
<br />
Because I might not have a degree but I challenge you to find a topic that I can’t talk to you about cohesively.<br />
<br />
Because I could pass your tests if I had to, but you couldn’t stand for a single second in the face of the tests that life has thrown me. Tests that are not graded on a bell curve or by percentages; tests that are graded by one simple stipulation: survival!<br />
<br />
4 :: Because You Don’t Read<br />
<br />
Because you read the things you are required to read or nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Because you think history is boring and philosophy is stupid.<br />
<br />
Because you would rather sit and watch “E!” or “MTV” instead of exploring something new, instead of diving head first, into the brain of another man in an attempt to better understand the world around you.<br />
<br />
Because you refuse to acknowledge that all the power in the world comes from the words of those that lived before us. That anything you desire can be had by searching through the multitude of words that are available to us now more abundantly than ever before.<br />
<br />
Because you are probably not reading this article even though you know you should.<br />
<br />
Because the people that are reading this already know these things.<br />
<br />
Because you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.<br />
<br />
5 :: Because You Lack Curiosity<br />
<br />
Because you get your news from copy-cat members of the state-controlled media.<br />
<br />
Because you are unwilling to ask this simple question… “What if it’s all a lie?”, and accept the possibility that maybe it is; that just maybe, the methods of mass media are under direct orders to: keep you distracted.<br />
<br />
Because you call me a know-it-all but refuse to call yourself a know-nothing-at-all.<br />
<br />
Because I thirst for knowledge, regardless the topic.<br />
<br />
Because while you’re busy playing Candy Crush, or Megalopolis, I am reading about string theory and quantum mechanics.<br />
<br />
Because while you waste your time with Tosh.o I am learning how to edit video, build websites and design mobile apps.<br />
<br />
Because if we were to go heads-up in a debate, I would crush you. I would make it a point to defeat my own argument; from every imaginable angle; in order to understand everything you might be able to use against me.<br />
<br />
Because I would dedicate myself to understanding both sides of the argument so thoroughly that I could argue your side for you and win; even after having just handed you a defeat in the same debate.<br />
<br />
6 :: Because You Don’t Ask Enough Questions<br />
<br />
Because you do not question authority.<br />
<br />
Because you don’t question yourself.<br />
<br />
Because you don’t understand the power of properly placed questioning in life, respectful disagreements and standing up for what you know to be right in the face of someone telling you otherwise. Unable to question reality; stuck in a self imposed survival strategy within a matrix-style monotony.<br />
<br />
Because I know that you will give me all the information I need to destroy you by letting you talk.<br />
<br />
Because I study human behaviors and you ignore everyone but yourself.<br />
<br />
Because I watch how you say the things you say just as closely as I listen to what you say; and you say way too much!<br />
<br />
Because control comes, not from spewing your ignorance like some incurable case of logorrhea, but from properly structuring the context of your questions.<br />
<br />
Because I study the premise of your argument and destroy it from the ground level before you even get a chance to establish your ideas.<br />
<br />
7 :: Because You Can’t Handle The Truth<br />
<br />
Because you refuse to admit that you don’t even know the things you don’t know.<br />
<br />
Because there isn’t an article online that would make up for all the time you have wasted in life.<br />
<br />
Because even if I told you everything could be different tomorrow you would wait until then to begin doing anything about it.<br />
<br />
Because even when you think I’m not, I’m aware of my surroundings.<br />
<br />
Because you think that since I have not acknowledged you, it means that I have not seen you.<br />
<br />
Because, you walk around with your head up your ass, oblivious to the world around you. Blissfully ignorant of the reality that sits so close to your face that if you stuck your tongue out, just once, you would taste it and realize how delicious the truth actually is.<br />
<br />
Because you would become an instant addict. Unable to pull yourself from the teat of truth. Finally able to understand your lack of understanding, and then you would see; then you would know that the only thing holding you back from doing something truly amazing, is you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-5152169154534562972014-02-06T04:38:00.000+08:002014-02-06T04:38:06.440+08:007 Reasons Why You Will Never Do Anything Amazing With Your LifeBecause I have not blogged for a while.<br /><br /><u>Painful truths</u><br /><br />Yeah that’s right; you heard me… I’m talking to you… I’m calling you out.<br /><br />I’m looking you in the eyes, (ok well, not really since you are probably reading this article, but figuratively, I am burning a cyclops type hole in your face right now) and telling you that you don’t stand a chance.<br /><br />I’m telling you that if you can read this article, look through this list and not claim it as your own, then you should be a little worried.<br /><br />Actually, you should be very worried. You should drop everything and immediately question your existence on earth. You should find a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, raise your hand and slap yourself in the face.<br /><br />Got it? Now repeat that until you come to your senses and continue reading whenever you’re ready.<br />I’m Talkin’ ‘Bout Street Skills Son!<br /><br />I’m not talking about the: study hard, party light, graduate top-of-your-class skills.<br /><br />I’m not even talking about the: slack-off, skip class, smoke weed, drink and party but still graduate, skill-set your $50,000+ diploma has lead you to believe you have.<br />“I’m talking ’bout, step out your door, make some moves, and get-some-shit-done, kind of skills! Some, move out your mama’s house, quit your job — say “fuck the world” — and then actually go do it, kind of skills”.<br /><br />The kind of skills you develop in the real world, outside the bubble of your parents protection or the ideological indoctrination that has overwhelmed our entire educational system.<br /><br />Skills that can be had by anyone willing to pay the price to get them. Skills that are quickly becoming extinct.<br /><br />I’m talking about skills that cannot be taught in a classroom or in a textbook. Skills you can only learn by doing; by learning how to fly after jumping off the cliff.<br /><br />Skills that can only be developed when you find your true self. When you put yourself on the line or otherwise expose yourself to the possibility of failure.<br /><br />The skills you can only develop when you are willing to risk it all in order to do that one amazing thing.<br /><br />Skills that up until now, you thought you had.<br />“Basically, what I am trying to tell you is that, in this game called life, you don’t stand a chance…<br /><br /><div>
<b>1 :: Because You Have Not Failed Enough</b><br /><br />Because you are comfortable in your mediocrity; because you choose not to try.<br /><br />Because it is easier to talk about learning that new (programming?) language as opposed to actually learning it.<br /><br />Because you think everything is too hard or too complicated so you will just “sit this one out”, or maybe you’ll, “do-it-tomorrow”!<br /><br />Because you hate your job but won’t get a new one; because it is easy to reject rejection.<br /><br />Because while you’re sitting around failing to try, I am out there trying to fail, challenging myself, learning new things and failing as fast as possible.<br /><br />Because as I fail, I learn, and then adjust my course to make sure my path is always forward. Like the process of annealing steel, I’ve been through the fire and pounded into shape. The shape of a sword with polished edges and a razor sharp blade that will cut you in half if you are not equally hardened.<br /><br /><b>2 :: Because You Care What Others Think About You</b><br /><br />Because you have to fit in.<br /><br />Because you believe that being different is only cool if you’re different in the same way that other people are different.<br /><br />Because you are afraid to embrace your true self for fear of how the world will see you. You think that because you judge others, this means that those people must, in-turn, be judging you.<br /><br />Because you care more about the stuff you have as opposed to the things you’ve done.<br /><br />Because while you’re out spending your money on new outfits, new cars, overpriced meals or nights at the bar, I’ll be investing in myself. And while you try to fit in with the world I’ll make the world fit in with me.<br />Because I will recklessly abandon all insecurities and expose my true self to the world. I will become immune to the impact of your opinion and stand naked in a crowd of ideas; comfortable in knowing that while you married the mundane I explored the exceptional.<br /><br /><b>3 :: Because You Think You Are Smarter Than You Are</b><br /><br />Because you did what everyone else did; you studied what they studied and read what they read.<br /><br />Because you learned what you had to learn in order to pass their tests and you think that makes you smart.<br /><br />Because you think learning is only something people do in schools.<br /><br />Because while you were away at college, I was studying life; because instead of learning about the world in a classroom I went out and learned it by living.<br /><br />Because I know more than any piece of paper you could ever frame from a university. Because smart is not what you learn, it’s how you live.<br /><br />Because I might not have a degree but I challenge you to find a topic that I can’t talk to you about cohesively.<br /><br />Because I could pass your tests if I had to, but you couldn’t stand for a single second in the face of the tests that life has thrown me. Tests that are not graded on a bell curve or by percentages; tests that are graded by one simple stipulation: survival!<br /><br /><b>4 :: Because You Don’t Read</b><br /><br />Because you read the things you are required to read or nothing at all.<br /><br />Because you think history is boring and philosophy is stupid.<br /><br />Because you would rather sit and watch “E!” or “MTV” instead of exploring something new, instead of diving head first, into the brain of another man in an attempt to better understand the world around you.<br /><br />Because you refuse to acknowledge that all the power in the world comes from the words of those that lived before us. That anything you desire can be had by searching through the multitude of words that are available to us now more abundantly than ever before.<br /><br />Because you are probably not reading this article even though you know you should.<br /><br />Because the people that are reading this already know these things.<br /><br />Because you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.<br /><br /><b>5 :: Because You Lack Curiosity</b><br /><br />Because you get your news from copy-cat members of the state-controlled media.<br /><br />Because you are unwilling to ask this simple question… “What if it’s all a lie?”, and accept the possibility that maybe it is; that just maybe, the methods of mass media are under direct orders to: keep you distracted.<br /><br />Because you call me a know-it-all but refuse to call yourself a know-nothing-at-all.<br /><br />Because I thirst for knowledge, regardless the topic.<br /><br />Because while you’re busy playing Candy Crush, or Megalopolis, I am reading about string theory and quantum mechanics.<br /><br />Because while you waste your time with Tosh.o I am learning how to edit video, build websites and design mobile apps.<br /><br />Because if we were to go heads-up in a debate, I would crush you. I would make it a point to defeat my own argument; from every imaginable angle; in order to understand everything you might be able to use against me.<br /><br />Because I would dedicate myself to understanding both sides of the argument so thoroughly that I could argue your side for you and win; even after having just handed you a defeat in the same debate.<br /><br /><b>6 :: Because You Don’t Ask Enough Questions</b><br /><br />Because you do not question authority.<br /><br />Because you don’t question yourself.<br /><br />Because you don’t understand the power of properly placed questioning in life, respectful disagreements and standing up for what you know to be right in the face of someone telling you otherwise. Unable to question reality; stuck in a self imposed survival strategy within a matrix-style monotony.<br /><br />Because I know that you will give me all the information I need to destroy you by letting you talk.<br /><br />Because I study human behaviors and you ignore everyone but yourself.<br /><br />Because I watch how you say the things you say just as closely as I listen to what you say; and you say way too much!<br /><br />Because control comes, not from spewing your ignorance like some incurable case of logorrhea, but from properly structuring the context of your questions.<br /><br />Because I study the premise of your argument and destroy it from the ground level before you even get a chance to establish your ideas.<br /><br /><b>7 :: Because You Can’t Handle The Truth</b><br /><br />Because you refuse to admit that you don’t even know the things you don’t know.<br /><br />Because there isn’t an article online that would make up for all the time you have wasted in life.<br /><br />Because even if I told you everything could be different tomorrow you would wait until then to begin doing anything about it.<br /><br />Because even when you think I’m not, I’m aware of my surroundings.<br /><br />Because you think that since I have not acknowledged you, it means that I have not seen you.<br /><br />Because, you walk around with your head up your ass, oblivious to the world around you. Blissfully ignorant of the reality that sits so close to your face that if you stuck your tongue out, just once, you would taste it and realize how delicious the truth actually is.<br /><br />Because you would become an instant addict. Unable to pull yourself from the teat of truth. Finally able to understand your lack of understanding, and then you would see; then you would know that the only thing holding you back from doing something truly amazing, is you.<br /><br /><a href="https://medium.com/life-learning/2a1841f1335d">https://medium.com/life-learning/2a1841f1335d</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-56446317054996050232013-10-30T11:05:00.002+08:002013-10-30T11:05:58.005+08:00First post of the semesterI have been getting a lot of butterflies in stomach these days, just saying.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-48976002982546465982013-07-12T17:29:00.000+08:002013-07-22T19:24:27.577+08:00Just Because I am a Communications Student<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
What is communications?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Communication as an academic field relates to all that ways we communicate, so it embraces a knowledge. The information relates both to verbal and nonverbal messages.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Communication teachers and scholars have developed a definition of the field of communication to clarify it as a discipline for the public: </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
"the field of communication focuses on how people use messages to generate meanings within and cross various context, cultures, channels and media. The field promotes the effective and ethical practice of human communication."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Did you know...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
it is estimated that 75% of a person's day is spent communicating in some way. As a college student, 69% of your communication time in spent on speaking and listening. You spend 17% of your communication time on reading and 14% writing. To put it in another perspective; we listen a book a day, speak a book a week, read the equivalent book a month, and write the equivalent book a year.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Career options:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
there are many career paths that a person with Communication major can choose. Here are some job titles that former graduates with Communication majors hold. Use this as an ideas list, remember that is represents some, but certainly not all of the careers you might consider. Some careers may take additional schooling.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Business:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Management</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Personnel recruiter</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Trainer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Admissions counselor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Sales representative</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Public information officer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Negotiator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Newsletter editor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Mediator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Vice-president human resources</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Director of training and development</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Benefits administrator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Executive manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Industrial and labor relations</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Customer service representative</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Human resources manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Buyer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<u><b>Advertising:</b></u></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Advertising specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Copywriter</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Media planner</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Creative director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Public researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Marketing specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Account executive manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Media buyer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Media sales representative</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Communication education:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Language arts coordinator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Drama director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
School counselor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Audiovisual specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Director of college news</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Educational fund-raiser</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
High school speech forensics/debate coach</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Speech communication department chairperson</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Education researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Educational administrator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Educational tester</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Alumni officer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Electronic/Media/Radio/Television/Broadcasting:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Broadcasting station manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Film/tape librarian</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Unit manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Transmitter engineer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Advertising sales coordinator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Actor/actress</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Disc jockey</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Comedy writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Producer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Floor manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Director of broadcasting</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Community relation director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
News writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Technical director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Market researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Announcer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
News and relation manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Casting manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Business manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Talk show host</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Journalism:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Reporter</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Newscaster</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Copywriter</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
News service researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Acquisitions editor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Editor </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Author</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Script writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Technical writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Media interviewer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Public Relations:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Publicity manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Marketing specialist </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Corporate public affairs</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Account executive</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Sales manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Media planner</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
News writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Adverting manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Lobbyist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Development officer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Media analyst</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Creative director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Public opinion researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Theatre/Performing arts: </u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Performing artist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Arts administrator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Costume design</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Lighting theatre critic</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Stage manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Theatre professor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Script writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Performing arts educator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Scenic designer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Makeup artist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Model</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Casting director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Government/Politics:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Public information officer writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Campaign director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Program coordinator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Legislative assistant</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Research specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Elected official</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>High Technology Industries:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Trainer for communication tech.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
System analyst</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Language specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Circuit television producer/director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Technical copywriter</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Cognition researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Audio & visual computer display specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Communication and Health Care:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Health educator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Medical grants writer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Clinic public relations director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Research analyst</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Health personnel educator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hospice manager</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Activities director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
School health care administrator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hospital director of communication</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Health communication analyst</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Medical training supervisor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Medical center publications editor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Health care counselor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Marketing director</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>International Relations and Negotiations:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
On-Air international broadcasting</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Translator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Diplomat</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Corporate representative</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Student tour coordinator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Foreign correspondent</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Law:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Public defender</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
District attorney</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Legal researcher</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Legal secretary</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Legal educator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Corporate lawyer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Private practice lawyer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Mediation & negotiation specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Legal reporter</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><u>Social and Human Services:</u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Public administrator</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Recreation supervisor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Community affairs liaison</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Religious leader</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Social worker</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Human rights officer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Park service public relations specialist</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Mental counselor</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPD0HYeG6-Bva8b8cn2fJeEkIJNIrWNmEsuwR1S1rrGmEKyb-baYbrIl5BjXAIloCUjeFuDbzIUz_PBHzfbxjXelLhSfEZ-ttphnndD3wWbYrfnULvYm_bqgXSJ1RVX0Z9TnfD7FS94nVJ/s1600/bf11439djw1e60w3svm5jj20rs3du4nf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPD0HYeG6-Bva8b8cn2fJeEkIJNIrWNmEsuwR1S1rrGmEKyb-baYbrIl5BjXAIloCUjeFuDbzIUz_PBHzfbxjXelLhSfEZ-ttphnndD3wWbYrfnULvYm_bqgXSJ1RVX0Z9TnfD7FS94nVJ/s320/bf11439djw1e60w3svm5jj20rs3du4nf.jpg" width="73" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-65605131831678419092013-07-01T15:50:00.000+08:002013-07-01T15:50:00.558+08:00ESL Problems<div>
I am an ESL person, I never used English in life until I started Canadian Pre-U. As a matter of fact, I kinda started to have contact with the English world when I started to listen to Hitz songs when form 5. Even when I was young I read Mandarin subtitles while watching Disney's. My family is a traditional Chinese family, we speak Mandarin, Hokkien, Hakka, Malay, and very minimal of broken English. Therefore, the English language is kind of never useful in my life before. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, having English conversation with people was something I would never had imagined, and surprisingly it came quite smooth for me. p/s: I can't speak Manglish, I instinctively just can't put "lah" behind any English sentence, it just sounds weird for me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When we say English, America and Great Britain are countries that will pop into our head directly. The Malaysian English and English in anywhere of the world is very different. Have been speaking English for 3 years plus, if you want me to make a summary, I would say that proper English is wordy and polite (?), Malaysian English is, uh, straight forward and can only be understand by Malaysians and Singaporeans.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I found this posts on <b><i>Renren.com</i></b>, I found it quite useful for ESL people like us, especially people who are going for abroad study soon.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It seems to me that English people, or bananas, have some habits while they speaking English, for example, </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
--</div>
表达自己意见 when you want to give your opinion:<br />1. I think that... *最简单的<br />2. It seems to me that... *可以用作表达意见,或者summarize或者confirm对方说的话。<br />3. I would argue that...*这里面用would来弱化语气。<br />4. Just to go along with what you said... *感谢读者下方留言提醒我这句话,真的很好用,承上启下。这句话还好在,它使你现在插话看上去legitimate,因为你是为了和前面的那个人go along啊。不赶紧接话,不就along不上了嘛。<br />5. Going back to what xxx said... * 同上。不过一般是你已经说了几句,此事,想要relate to something 别人刚刚提到过或者蜻蜓点水说道的东西。这句话的好处就是,一能bring others on board说看我的说法和你是有一致之处的, 二能表现他刚才说的东西你还有印象。<br />6. So basically 所以基本上 (added by myself, from experience)<br /><br />同意或者反对 agree or disagree :<br />I agree with you. *最简单的<br />Building on what XX has just said, ....<br />I am with you..., but [main point]. * 这里I am with you不一定表示同意也不一定表示反对,它主要的意思是说“你说的我听懂了/我跟上你说的了。”<br />I follow your logic, but have you thought about/considered this... [main point]...? *和上面一句话的逻辑是一样的:“你说的我明白了,但是...”<br />I see what you are saying, but I’m not sure I would argue that... *和上面两句话的逻辑一样。<br />With all due respect, I think...<br /><br />谦虚的反对to disagree politely :<br />Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn't [a different topic]...?<br />I’m not an expert on..., it seems to me that...<br />I might be wrong, but ...<br />I suspect that I lack some [background] information about this aspect, but here is my two cents.<br />I am not sure about this..., you might want to check with Professor X... Would you mind letting me know what he/she says?<br />[别人说了一堆之后] This is one way to look at it. Another way to look at it might be....<br /><br />疑惑追问:<br />Just to clarify,...<br />May I ask a follow-up question?<br />Could you say more (about it)? *不确定自己是不是听懂了,请别人多解释一些。<br />Could you elaborate on this?<br /><br />会议报告、演讲之后提问 for Q&A in official events :<br />That’s an amazing model/useful concept, but it occurred to me that [this/something] might also play a role....Have you considered ...?<br />Thanks for your talk. I completely agree with your conclusion, but as I’m sure you’re aware, Dr. XX explains this in a different way, and I was wondering if you could address her theory. * “but as I’m sure you’re aware”完全是给对方一个台阶下,可能那个理论他根本没有考虑过。但是如果对方是很senior的,我们也需要客套一下。<br /><br />需求帮助 seeking help :<br />I was wondering if I could talk to you about... *一般都是用过去时,在email里面也是如此。而且,虽然was wondering/hoping这种进行时看起来很怪,但是用法就是这样子的。<br />I was hoping that if I could talk to you about...<br />I was wondering if it’d be possible that you...*<br />Sorry to bother you, Professor X....<br />I realize this is an unusual request...<br />I realize that you are very busy...<br />Thanks for your time.<br />Thanks in advance for your help.<br />It would be great if you could...*这个是最常用的,尤其是email里面<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
--</div>
<div>
Use these and you will feel BANANAAAAAAAAA, aka act pro lah, make those ang mohs feel like you are social-able. LOL.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Being talkative is kind of a norm in English spoken countries, I had to make myself hyper and talk a lot when I am with them so that the conversation and atmosphere won't be weird. But still, being Malaysian is the best okay.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-7208137417101409932013-06-18T22:43:00.001+08:002013-06-18T22:43:18.012+08:00Why Coming Home Is Hard<div>
I have been home for 2 months plus, everyday I am missing Windsor, a place that I have spent 2 years living on my own. Everyday, I am physically in Malaysia but mentally in Canada. My brain just cannot stop comparing this two country, one is my homeland, one is my possibly country of residence.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2 years of absence in Malaysia made me feel like a stranger in everywhere, until today I still feel like a tourist in Malaysia. I had to admit, things changed, feelings changed, literally everything changed, especially the fact that my brother is grown up enough to work as a property agent and his girlfriend is staying in our house, specifically my room. The way of conversation held at home has totally changed, more matured I might say? They were talking about contents that I do not understand that much, stuff that I do not really fond about it. End up I enjoy playing with Claire more than talking to the people at home. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Wanted to write blog about this long time ago but I failed to find a good time to actually sit down and write it, until I found this article, which says almost 100% about my situation - the dilemma, struggle, confusion, etc.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
--</div>
Coming home after months or even years away is hard because the people you are coming home to only know — and thus expect — the you that left. This is true for the college kid who is still teased by his family about his sloppiness, his pizza-only diet, or his C’s-will-do work ethic, despite the fact that he actually worked fairly hard to get his act together while living on his own. This is true of the 20-something who is still referred to by her mother as a Prima Donna, regardless of the fact that she just spent 18 months living out of a backpack. This is true of anyone who has ever come home to find that the people there no longer see them as they see themselves.<br /><br />There is no one to blame here but the game-changers that are expectation and time. We can’t help that we left as the people we left as, or that the people we said goodbye to screenshotted us in their minds, remembering our carefree manner, our insecure smile or our constant refusal to do the dishes.<br /><br />But time, almost by definition, changes things (read: us). This, incidentally, is probably a good thing. How many people do you know that, if asked if they wanted to be exactly the same in two years, would say yes? Probably not many. Furthermore, what was the point of study abroad or taking a promotion in a new city or backpacking Asia if you weren’t going to let it change you in some way?<br /><br />For better or for worse, few escape time. Time is a potter who takes the already-drying pieces we are as 20-somethings, composed of a certain shade of clay with a determined grit, and molds us slightly, sometimes gradually and delicately changing the structure of the entire piece. Sometimes time smooths out a previously jagged edge. Sometimes time is over-ambitious, and in attempting to pull a vase out a bowl, renders the clay a bit too thin in the middle. Sometimes that thin clay even tears.<br /><br />But no matter what, the wheel keeps spinning and rarely does the clay just sit there untouched. As we get older, the clay begins to harden in the air, and the alterations become increasingly difficult. The miracle of damp clay is that it cannot shatter.<br /><br />And so we come home, molded by time and the experiences it offered. We come home, in some way altered, to the people we have left with a screenshot of our former selves; an expectation of the person we were.<br /><br />Coming home is hard because, in many cases, the people we come home to will want to understand. They will beg for stories, and their eyes will dart back and forth between ours as they listen. They will ask the right questions at the right moments.<br /><br />But, intent as they may be in wanting to understand (“Tell me everything. No seriously, I mean everything”), they weren’t there when that handsome once-a-stranger clumsily nudged the lego house that was your heart off of the coffee table. They weren’t one of the friends down on their hands and knees searching for the scattered pieces in the dust under the couch. They weren’t there as you tried to reassemble the structure, but struggled, as no step-by-step instruction manual could be found.<br /><br />They weren’t there when you lost a friend to alcohol poisoning, they weren’t there the night that guy from the gym assaulted you. They didn’t spend weeks on weeks walking up and down the Australian alps, they didn’t have the same eye-opening conversations with the surprisingly happy homeless people you met in the Philippines. They weren’t in your mind that nondescript Sunday you woke up and decided that actually you’re not really as bad as you once thought.<br /><br />They didn’t experience these things with you, despite your subsequent Skype sessions and the emails that had half as many words as Anna Karenina, but they will experience the way time and circumstance have changed you. This is not necessarily a good or bad thing, but it is a reality that we are often under-prepared for.<br /><br />Coming home to someone (read: not your mother), due to the familiar culprits of time and expectation, is even harder. It’s so hard that it’s almost like the occasion warrants some sort of peremptory message, something that tactfully conveys the thoughts that insist on playing tag in your head when you can’t fall asleep at night. The ones in which you blurt out something like this:<br /><br />“Listen, it’s not that I’m not really excited to see you, but I think we need to maybe manage our expectations a bit. We haven’t seen each other in what will be 14 months. We are 5,000 miles apart. We haven’t spoken face-to-face in over a year. You’ve romanticized me, and I can’t blame you. It’s impossible not to airbrush someone’s flaws when you are infatuated with the idea of them from a distance. I’ve done the same to you. This is not to say it couldn’t work out, but simply to point out (to both of us) that it might not. We’ve changed. So let’s do ourselves both a favor and press reset on our expectations, because I don’t want either of us to be kept up at night by the idea of someone who doesn’t exist anymore. That being said, please know that I look forward to meeting you again.”<br /><br />None of this is to imply that leaving your “home” for months or years at a time inherently weakens or destroys relationships, but sometimes it will. Remember that high school friend you got coffee with a year after graduation, only to discover that you actually had nothing in common besides chemistry class and mean girls to gossip about? Relationships like that, based on nothing beyond a common experience, may start to disintegrate, and perhaps you should let them.<br /><br />The converse of this is that the people you feel just as connected to after months or years of geographic distance, after all the circumstantial things you had in common (location, classes, workplace, the team you were on, the people you had to talk about) have fallen away, these are your people. These are the people who will give a toast at your wedding; who will be drunk with you on your 40th birthday. This is your home team.<br /><br />I like to joke that if you want to know who your real friends are you should disappear for a year and see who is still there when you get back. I say this laughing, but in reality, few things could be closer to the truth.<br /><br />Coming home is hard, because managing your expectations of people is hard. Coming home is hard, because changed people mean a changed relationship; an altered dynamic. Coming home is hard because explaining the events that changed you, perhaps in a few dramatic hours or days, is hard. Coming home is hard because you see yourself every single day and may not even realize that you’re different until you don’t quite manage to fit back into your old role. Coming home is hard because often some of the places you used to occupy have been filled — by new best friends, new love interests, a new social dynamic. Coming home is hard because you’re expected to pick up where you left off, when in reality you’re miles away from that spot.<br /><br />Coming home is hard because your family isn’t perfect. Your mother, despite all the effort she put into raising you, is probably still over-bearing or slightly (highly) irrational. Your father, in spite of all of the support he has provided you, may be just as critical as you left him. Your cousin might still be losing his war with alcohol; your aunt might still be wrestling with divorce papers. It will be just as difficult as it has always been to be with people 24/7, to see them through their nastiest moods and that annoying way they always talk with food in their mouth.<br /><br />Coming home is hard, but coming home can be also be wonderful. Coming home means your mom’s famous brownies, your little brother’s sorority girl imitation, and drinking port with your dad. Coming home means that park you used to drink in, it means the the bed you’ve been missing for months. It means people that have had you counting down the days until you could hug them. It means someone, perhaps the officer that checks your passport upon arrival or the woman who has worked in your neighborhood 7/11 since you were a kid, saying “welcome home.”<br /><br />Coming home is hard, but it’s worth it. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Source: <a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/why-coming-home-is-hard/">http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/why-coming-home-is-hard/</a></i></div>
<div>
--</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
At here, I see no future, I can not be really happy, I feel useless/extra, I do not even eat nasi lemak and things that are made of seafood. </div>
<div>
Fuck it, 2 more months then I am out of here. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-10003232237710861772013-05-20T23:40:00.000+08:002013-05-20T23:40:26.556+08:00Eh future?The more I grew older, the more I am unsure about my future path. The dilemma right now is, to live a happy life or to carry on the family business?<br />
<br />
I never experience homesick until I come back to Malaysia. Yes, I miss Windsor, I miss everything of it. I never actually think of Malaysia that much when I was over there, I don't know why. Maybe is the relationship attachment, I do not have a lot back home.<br />
<br />
Until now, I honestly do not know what kind of career I want to do, the only thing I am certain is, I will be travelling a lot, and end up in a western country, own a cottage and farm, at last die there. So before that comes, what should I do?<br />
<br />
I do not have any expertise nor a good looking degree that makes everyone want to hire me. And the bigger problem is, I do not know which country I should stay in right now. One is homeland, one is a place I can find myself.<br />
<br />
Don't even talk about get married, I will die alone. Yea.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-62072859627851814102013-05-20T23:02:00.001+08:002013-05-20T23:02:12.623+08:00What Canada Did to Me23 days in Malaysia have made me realized how Canada has changed me so much, physically and mentally.<br />
<br />
<u>Weight</u><br />
Being a failed Malaysian that does not like to eat spicy and seafood, Canada was a paradise for me. In Malaysia, chili sauce seems to be the default condiment for burger, every time when I order a burger I have to keep remind the person not to put chili sauce, but I still get spicy burger sometimes. On the other hand in Canada, ketchup, as known as tomato sauce for Malaysian is the first choice for most of the food. This is one of the reasons I love Western countries. I seem to eat most of the food served in Canada, the comparison was kind of striking for such a picky person like me. So yea, I gained weight, I am having a good BMI right now, not gonna lie. I was forever underweight before this.<br />
<br />
<u>Weather Tolerance</u><br />
Before going to the Great White North, I was considered a person who has a decent weather tolerance. I can stand either hot and cold very well, at least I did not complaint. After Canada's -20 degrees Celsius in winter and 35 degrees Celsius in summer, I thought that Malaysia's forever summer is nothing. However, it proves that I was wrong. I cannot really stand the heat in Malaysia anymore, I have been sweating here everyday. Have been indulging myself in air conditioned rooms for most of the time, I know it is bad, but I just cannot stand it. Imagine sweating and have running nose at the same time, the feeling sucks.<br />
<br />
<u>Sleeping Behaviour</u><br />
It is hard to imagine that I could be so productive at Windsor, which I still could do a lot of work even though I only had 6 hours of sleep the day before. However in here, somehow, 12 hours of sleeping just cannot do any work, I will utilize every free time I have to pay back some sleep debt. I do not really know what does this has to do with the setting but my dad says it is because I have more responsibilities over there that makes me cannot sleep well, however at home, I do not have to worry about anything that's why I have good sleep. Not a very acceptable reason though. Perhaps I am still living in the Canada hour.<br />
<br />
<u>Safety Awareness</u><br />
Before coming back, my friends have warned me about the declining safety in Malaysia. At first, I do not realize it, until my mum threw me alone somewhere in Bukit Tinggi. She asked me to stay there for a while because she gonna go bank. So, I stood in front of a mamak for half an hour, the whole process was terrifying, I do not know why. Maybe it is the feeling of pedestrians gave me, those weird stares, no warm greetings or smiles like how Canadians would give to strangers. Sense of being safety includes driving on the road as well. People in Klang drive more dangerous than ever, they seemed rushing every time. I can not really drive like how I used to be anymore.<br />
<br />
Mentality is a huge one. Everything I see right now seem abnormal, I will compare it with Canada. One of the things that has been troubling me is the value of money of Malaysian and Canadian. In homeland, seem like everything we do, money is the driver. Whereas in Canada, happiness is the ultimate, business comes second. I already have Canada's perception since young, so I cannot say that Canada has switched my Malaysian ideology, I am not a very money-minded person, I used to complaint to my parents that they had been giving me too much of pocket money, not even kidding. My family is the most obvious example, in a normal family dinner, my dad would just keep talking about business, everything is money related, every amount mentioned is a thousands and above. Malaysia is very much dominated by capitalism, even the weekend activity could be just go to the mall and spend money.I know it is unfair to accuse Malaysians have a very strong 铜臭味 but I honestly do not know how to view this practice and neutralize it. It makes me feel like Malaysians are doing everything to get something from someone (government especially), Canadians are more about giving out, which they focus on volunteering, charities, etc. And more importantly, everything is so heart warming over there, it makes you believe that everything you do is being appreciated, although saying 'thank you' is just being polite, but it truly will brightens a person's day. I don't know if I should say Malaysian is being rude or what, but what I am trying to say is that, communications could be a lot better if we don't use negative words that much, put in more patience in managing relationship. Facebook is one of the best platform to showcase how Malaysians talk to each other, especially during GE2013, it was just depressing to me, discourse battle everyday about politics, so disturbing and at the same time worrying about Malaysians' media literacy. At the same time, amazed how media can easily manipulate people's mind. It makes don't know which side to go with, either go with the flow or have my own point of view. But whatever right now, I am a Malaysia that has a Canadian mind now, having mind fuck everyday.<br />
<br />
<i>Apa khabar? Bonjour? Kanasai la!</i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-67654608771433660242013-04-20T14:39:00.002+08:002013-04-20T14:39:52.532+08:00无恋<i>disclaimer: 此文含有酒精,若什么文字奇怪的地方请见谅。</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
不知道这是个诅咒还是什么,这种事情会偶尔发生一次,而且每一次发生我都会纠结几个星期。就是,<i>被好朋友告白</i>。<br />
<br />
好吧,其实是几乎每一个比较要好的男生朋友都会end up这样。我不知道是我哪里做错了还是我本来就有问题,不然就是我太白痴,相信这世界上会有男女纯友谊。问了几个男生,他们对这种关系的看法不一样,也很极端。每一次遇到这种问题的时候,我脑里的答案一般都是“我喜欢你吗?还是那种感觉是一种依赖?”然后之后会变成“我完全没有想谈恋爱的欲望”,在最后想法会成为“就算在一起之后会怎么样?会和现在有什么分别?” 再然后就会想,他和我之前那么要好就是为了要这样?还是日久生情?到最后就会对这份感情的quality产生怀疑。<br />
<br />
我觉得,千错万错应该都是我的错吧?第一是,越没感觉的男生玩的越好;越喜欢的我只会从远处望/偷窥。第二是,(朋友说的)我给他们太多机会?一起吃饭看电影去图书馆算机会吗?但是如果要我和一个正常女生做这些的话我真的会受不了。主要是没有话题,再来是女生很麻烦,什么都要人迁就。我说这些完全没有想诋毁女生的意思,我只是觉得我和一般女生不太处得来,和她们在一起我觉得我比较像个男生。最最主要的是,不能随心所欲的讲话,说实话女生的谈话内容,我一般聊不起来,除非聊食物和帅哥,男朋友首饰台韩港剧服装化妆保养品这些我真的是能说sorry了,我试着去了解,不行,头会痛。<br />
<br />
很多时候我怀疑自己是同性恋,更多时候可能是无性恋,(对啦我是yeast LOL)。一般想到“就算在一起之后会怎么样?会和现在有什么分别?”这个问题后我会很害怕,因为会导致我想到“我真的能和这个人过上日子?”这种问题。然后会想到我的人格,我自己很清楚如果和我是泛泛之交的会觉得我很好相处,相识级别高一点的惊喜会越多。我有想过不想隐藏我多数的人格,但是来了加拿大这个想法只能被完全去除了。因为我在这里所谓的“改变,”大部分马来西亚的亲朋戚友都不赞同。我只是想说,我没有改变,我在这里所做的一切一切都是我梦寐以求的,都是埋葬在我心底深处的渴望。但是,看来没有人能谅解,都会以“啊这不像是颖诗会做的事情、啊颖诗变了”说真的,这类的话非常的伤我,不只会把我打成原形,也会让我不想回去。因为我在这里真的很快乐,几乎我做的每一件是都很有意义,都会在某一种形式上帮到别人,然手享受那种走在街上认识70%的人那种感受。当然,这是好的一面,不好的一面,我觉的有时候我还蛮恶劣的,尤其是内心语言上。我不喜欢一个人的话,我会打从心底把你祖宗十八代骂光 LOL 好啦回正题。所以我觉得我性格方面不是每一个人都可以接受得了的,如果要的话我也先得过我自己这关。不过目前为止,没人闯得了,包括我自己已经死了很多条命了。<br />
<br />
总之,恋爱这种东西我能离多远就多远。我-完-全-不-想-碰,老娘要当尼姑,老娘不想嫁啦,靠。我不想害人,不想制造麻烦的下一代,把未来都给毁了。我自认没有那种资格去和某人长相厮守,传宗接代,不想给别人家我家丢脸。就让老娘我安安乐乐的自己过自己的生活行不?<br />
<br />
从现在开始,回到以前,live alone, die alone的生活模式吧。自己和自己吃饭也不错的。<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">对不起,尤其是H和V,我可能伤了你们,而且都是靠近考试的时候,你们对我来说很重要,但不是那一方面的。诉我自私,我真希望这些不会改变我们的友情。若真的不行,我会在你们眼前消失。 </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">是是,大家都爱我那雄性荷尔蒙, 爱我那土鳖装女神样。你以为我想啊?!</span></i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-16886530876147977142013-04-19T22:20:00.002+08:002013-04-20T03:54:03.174+08:0022 Things You Could Be Doing With Your Life Besides Getting Married1. Getting an advanced degree in something that has been your passion for as long as you can remember (even if it is Princess Fairy Astronaut Mermaid). <br />
<br />
2. Traveling the world and meeting amazing new people (and occasionally getting drunk/sleeping with them, but as it is international, it clearly doesn’t count). <br />
<br />
3. Dating various people in your city and having lots of small flings because you want to really take your time to find the right person to settle down with, and you just haven’t clicked to that extent with anyone yet. <br />
<br />
4. Taking up a hobby and finding out that you love it enough to start pursuing it as a career on the side. <br />
<br />
5. Making adorable crap shaped like kittens and tiny whales and selling it on Etsy. <br />
<br />
6. Starting a blog and, despite having an average daily readership of three people including your mother, maintaining and growing it with love. <br />
<br />
7. Not even considering being in a romantic relationship because you are simply having too much fun being young and not having to worry about anyone but yourself. <br />
<br />
8. Going on road trips with your friends and taking a picture making the duck face (ironically, of course) in front of every monument you pass. <br />
<br />
9. Starting a serious (and somewhat costly) love affair with reading, and with the general feel and smell of books in your hand. <br />
<br />
10. Having tons of mind-blowing sex with whomever your precious little heart/genitals desire. <br />
<br />
11. Learning how to cook and, despite not knowing how to properly boil water at the start, finding yourself able to make some pretty complex recipes. <br />
<br />
12. Having dinner parties because you are classy and like to get white wine drunk. <br />
<br />
13. Couch surfing and meeting crazy, awesome, fun new people who only ~30 percent of the time smell like bong water. <br />
<br />
14. Flipping a house (which seems like a sweet way to make money, but who actually has the time to lay shingles oneself?). <br />
<br />
15. Watching every Disney movie in chronological order. <br />
<br />
16. Getting back in touch with old friends you’d almost forgotten about and realizing how a change in time or location can do wonders to highlight everything that you always loved about each other but may have taken for granted because of familiarity. <br />
<br />
17. Crying over the fact that you will never bone Tom Hardy. <br />
<br />
18. Getting really into shape for no reason other than you want to wake up every morning with a lot of energy and feel incredibly good in your own skin. <br />
<br />
19. Spending more time with your parents, because they are awesome and give you free food and compliments. <br />
<br />
20. Acquiring a pet and bestowing upon it all of the love that you may have otherwise wasted upon an actual human being. <br />
<br />
21. Going through an “espresso” phase where you get really obsessed with proper tamping technique and sun-or-shade grown. 22. Doing exactly what you want and not being even the slightest bit concerned with whether or not anyone thinks you’re hitting your milestones at the “right” moments.<br />
<br />
source: <a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/22-things-you-could-be-doing-with-your-life-besides-getting-married/">http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/22-things-you-could-be-doing-with-your-life-besides-getting-married/</a> <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I AM SO DOING THESE I TELL YOU </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
p/s: I will back to blogging, soon!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-47763690091193487352013-01-22T12:40:00.002+08:002013-01-22T12:40:24.036+08:00What is Your Shoe Size?I probably sound pathetic by keep saying I am taking 6 courses, involving in 3 clubs and have an on-campus job in this semester. Yea, those are nothing, I do not deserve to have a rest, I cannot whine, I cannot tell the others how tired I am, I cannot drop all of my responsibilities right now, I cannot disappoint the others, and yada yada yada.<br />
<br />
Friends do not understand my stresses, never mind. But mum's ignorance is way too much for me to bear, I am trying my very best to be your so called perfect daughter, so that I can be better than your friend's daughter. All those things I am doing right now is not enough? How can I make you happy and be proud of me? Be a psychology major? Get a boyfriend? Graduating this year? What the fuck do you want from me? All I ever ask from you is just some compliments.<br />
<br />
Some people when they are facing problems they will look for someone to talk to, for most of the time I am the listener, I cannot say that I am a good listener, however I do try to put myself in others' shoe when I am trying to give them advice. Why is it never the another way round? Hey, I have problems too! Can't some people just shut the fuck up and listen to me? Or just zip up and let me release stress in my own way? You guys make me feel like I do not deserve being tired, I am not good enough to say I need some rest. Once again this makes me lost faith in human relationships. So called friends? Pfft. Mum? Pfft. I am the one and only person who I can trust and have believe in, no one else.<br />
<br />
And it is just the third week of school. <i>Please do not break down, at least not now.</i><br />
<br />
I just want someone to listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. <i>No pun intended.</i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-55526399811863721852013-01-08T12:35:00.000+08:002013-04-20T13:22:26.596+08:002013 already? Goddamnit.And I am 22 already. New year, new semester, new hair, new resolution. <br />
<br />
One of the things I need to do this year: have-no-mercy, I have to stop do things that has no benefits for me. I am enough and tired of doing stuff for other, right now, is time to think for my own, only myself. Do I sound selfish? Think of how much you people made use and took granted from me. Now I just want to have more time for myself, I do not even know what I want, who I am already.<br />
<br />
Second thing, try to stay alive. 6 courses, on campus job, 4 extra co curricular activities that I have big responsibilities on, maybe (hopefully) the OC of a big event, perhaps there are something else but I can not remember right now, lol.<br />
<br />
Third, be prepared to be home. I have tried a lot of negative stuffs from people study abroad went back home. Like things changed, peopled changed, yada yada. Ultimate plan, if back home bound disappoints me I will just go on a food trip, concentrate on food hunting only. <br />
<br />
Lastly, try not to be single anymore? I think I have this in all of my resolutions but it never work out, so, meh. Does not really put high hope on this though.<br />
<br />
So uh, happy new year? Congratulations for being still alive after the so-called Mayan's end of the world.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-43245616770272770762012-12-30T16:23:00.003+08:002012-12-30T16:23:45.625+08:00你好,未来。想起来就有点恐怖,打从有记忆以来,我就一直有这个想法--我会早死--鬼晓得是什么原因。一开始就排除了自杀的可能性;虽然我无时无刻都有这个念头,不过这几年的混乱的心境也许想得不一样了吧。<br />
<br />
以前不知道为什么会有这种想法,随着年龄和知识的增长,谜团也大概揭开了。我想我是个接受不了事实的人吧,害怕改变,担心长大,还有很多未来要处理的乱七八糟的事。<br />
<br />
想到自己是个什么都不会,什么都做不好的大白痴就想掐死自己。为什么我就不能普通一点?像其他人都去读science, business, engineering之类的,至少读这些的未来保险一些,也毕竟大多数人都在做同样的事情,如果跟着majority应该也不会错到哪里去。不知道自己是哪里犯贱,小时候书读不好,数学烂死进不了science stream也就算了,什么LJ 奖学金都没有,偏偏还选了个死鬼远死鬼贵的加拿大的什么communications and visual arts,人家问以后要干嘛一般我只笑笑地说“public relations吧,” 其实PR是怎样地一个世界我是懂个屁。一天到晚只会羡慕妒忌人家的天赋才华,把自己看得一文不值最擅长。有很多人告诉我说要有自信,自信个赛,讲得好像建立自信好像放屁那样简单。身上没有一样是好的拿什么出来晒?每次自以为很厉害什么都知道,其实懂的都是屁啦。<br />
<br />
还有我那个死烂性格,妈的,可不可以不要那么双面?讲实话面对人又不会怎样;是啦老娘就是怕死,不爽骂人都要在被locked的Twitter里骂啦,需要去透窥来人家的SNS对我的想法啦,妈的我就是干你娘的小人啦,敢说不敢做的胆小鬼啦,像我这种人是应该不得好死啦。Shit,在这样写下去,十个字里有八个是脏话。<br />
<br />
不知道别人也是不是这样,我好像预见不到我的未来。好像有人会问你以后想干嘛,我从来都无法100%很有自信地说出我的答案,感觉上未来的一切都是模糊看不清的,其实说黑暗比较确切。除此,心里另外一个白痴声音会说,“你不配拥有这些。” 妈的,搞得我很多时候想给自己的脑来一个format,还是撞个墙把我搞失忆算了。<br />
<br />
disclaimer: 以上都是我的心里垃圾,读读忘了就好。对我改变印象了?请便,只是不要告诉我你看了我的blog,我会纠结很久,很可能是<b>一辈子</b>。老娘我最在乎的就是人家对我的看法,反正,当这个post透明就好。Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-66306445021069156732012-12-19T20:13:00.001+08:002012-12-19T20:13:24.047+08:00Malaysia Bound Summer 2013It's been a while I do my 5 Five's, so I shall dedicate it to my back home plans.<br />
<br />
5 Places To Go<br />1. Bali <br />
2. Penang<br />
3. Langkawi<br />
4. Legoland<br />
5. Singapore<br />
<br />
5 Things To Eat<br />
1. Thong Wei's Bak Kut Teh<br />
2. Tepi Sungai's Wan Tan Mee<br />
3. Mama's Hakka Lei Cha<br />
4. Shanmuga's Roti Planta<br />
5. Momo's Taiwan Hotpot<br />
and actually I wanna put more in this LOL<br />
<br />
5 People To See (besides family members)<br />
1. Cecilia<br />
2. Grandmother<br />
3. Way Na<br />
4. Siew Foong<br />
5. Mei Tyng and Yuen Phei (cousins)<br />
<br />
5 Things To Buy<br />
1. Bras<br />
2. Shoes<br />
3. Bagpack<br />
4. Purse<br />
5. TBAUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-75749114826473533332012-12-19T19:50:00.004+08:002012-12-19T19:50:28.871+08:00爱不起有时候我觉得像我这种情感不深的人会很难,相信人已经很难了更何况是to be in a relationship?很多人告诉我说要有自信要有自信,说当然容易,可是我就是做不到。什么叫自信?要怎么很具体的去define这个词?常常听人说要爱别人,要先爱自己。要怎样爱自己?每天在Facebook发照片来证明?若是说善待自己,我只做到一点,就是吃好吃的。<br />
<br />
Okay wait,我好像写得很没有flow,LOL.<br />
<br />
我想说的重点是,我真的不知道应该怎么做了,有人说要有自信,有人说告诉他我的感觉。不过说真的我还有点喜欢现在的情况。告白了会怎样?一就是失败,二就是在一起。但是我看不到我们在一起的画面,没恋爱过是主要的一点。在加上我这种奇怪的性格,感觉和我在一起会有一种和朋友在一起的感觉,完全没浪漫感觉。但是有时候会想人想得想装墙,你妈妈的,从来不知道自己会中毒那么深。每天不时的stalking已经快把我逼疯了,看不到一点update就会很pek cek,妈的。我到底在做什么。<br />
<br />
另外一点就是我们根本就是不同世界的人,文化冲击不说,课业根本就是一大坨挡在前面的大便,兴趣一个完全偏向音乐一个什么都有兴趣,唯一能把我们link起来的只有电影和食物了吧,干。<br />
<br />
你不会想知道当你说你想帮忙弄Charity Gala的时候我是有多激动。冒着下学期6个courses加工作加clubs 活动必死的情况下跑去跟Unicef和VISA提这个建议,还每天晚上在梦里搞events planning,搞到我那个星期是兴奋到,他妈的,真的是陷太深。<br />
<br />
虽然我不相信那个什么世界末日,但是如果有就快来吧,还是把我弄失忆吧。老娘我的脑好累,每每走在学校都会不自觉的搜索你的身影,fuck。<br />
<br />
我应该是有<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Philophobia。</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>你到底有没有可能喜欢我?</i><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-31134507437390849232012-12-18T19:51:00.000+08:002012-12-19T19:51:59.519+08:00Motivation【成功是逼出来的】
<br />
一个人,如果你不逼自己一把,你根本不知道自己有多优秀。一个人,想要优秀,你必须要接受挑战;一个人,你想要尽快优秀,就要去寻找挑战;一个人,敢听真话,需要勇气;一个人敢说真话,需要魄力;一个人的知识,通过学习可以得到;一个人的成长,必须通过磨练!
<br />
<br />
【心理技巧:你怕麻烦别人吗?】
<br />
相比那些被你帮助过的人,那些曾经帮助过你的人会更愿意再帮你一次。换句话说——让别人喜欢你的最好方法不是去帮助他们,而是让他们来帮助你。如果想得到别人的好感,主动开口是没坏处的。这个有意思的现象被称为“本杰明-富兰克林效应”。<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-38597920131669226142012-11-11T15:40:00.000+08:002012-11-11T15:41:12.244+08:00Fall Term 2012 ReportOh my godness, I cannot believe that I did not update this blog properly since September, and now is November already, which means this semester is going to end in a month, dafuq. LOL When I say blog properly, those personality quizzes does not count, haha.<br />
<br />
So I guess I will use back the old format to tell my story for this semester, it is easier for me to organize and read, haha.<br />
<br />
<u>Academic</u><br />
Taking 5 courses this semester, 2 visual arts, Image and Time Based, 2 communications, Message Design and Theories of Communication and Media, and 1 art history, Modern Art.<br />
<br />
I going to start with Time Based first because Image is a bitch to talk about LOL. So I have Ken Giles again this time, same evening class, same boring as hell. Time Based here is a medium that has a durational dimension, in short, VIDEO lah. The ultimate reason why I put myself into visual arts this dumbshit is because of Time Based okay, because I do not want to go into production in communications which is so bitchy that you have to count budget, decide angles, find casts, scripting yada yada stupid materialistic stuff. Time Based has more meaning (I think), which you can be subjective with it, and people wont judge it as a consumer item but ART.Which means, you can make it without meaning, even randomly, but your peers will sense meanings from it somehow from their perspective. The course itself is interesting, we learned Photoshop and made a triptych for the first assignment, which is easy pissy for me, however choosing a subject is difficult, it is also the core of this course. We also learned how to cut Final Cut Pro, a video editing software, super easy super cool, love it right now. Just submitted assignment 3 on Wednesday, it is about montage technique, how we can condense a 3 hours experience into a 3 minute video. I chose the stupidest idea ever. In that video, I was frustrated with my uselessness at the beginning, then another me from another dimension of the world appeared and offer some drink (milk) for me, said that it will help me life better, then 'she' disappeared with a snap. After I finished the drink (milk), I got super powers like teleport, walk through walls and stuff. I am thrilled, teleport here and there, and finally I hit on a door then I want to pass through it. Later find out the drink (milk) is a trial version, only valid for 3 hours. I basically do all these by myself, without a tripod. And I found out, I CANNOT TALK TO A CAMERA. Dafuq, the whole process and the final product are just plain awkward. And we need to show our assignment in class, I was the second one to go, Ken started with the last last name, madafaka -_- I told the class the reason I chose to do is because we (students) were so frustrated these days with midterms and papers, we will do anything to get more time to deal with studies, thus this video represents the wish, also act as a temporally escape from reality. The GA, Eric loves it, but Ken, meh, I will take it as he was in a bad mood that day, he criticized everyone's. LOL. So yea, for most of the time I feel so blank because this course is so abstract, define time? what the fuck is this.jpg Topic for final project is "what is your favourite vegetable," how can you use time to tell us what is your favourite vegetable? Damn vague right? I have no idea how to do, and I cannot even decide which vegetable to use, corn, broccoli or potato? Help maybe?<br />
<br />
And oh if you want to watch the stupid super power video just write a post about it to my Facebook wall, LOL.<br />
<br />
Move on, Image class! Have Nadja Pelkey, fresh MFA from University of Guelph. I hope you did not died from reading my Time Based story if not you totally going to die in this. LOL. So, Image is ten thousand times more vague than Time Based. First assignment is to make a colour chart, very easy, but assignments get weirder as time passes. Second one is we have to paint ten panels with portrait or object. Paint, not draw! Many people confused with this too at the beginning, we even being taught how to hold the paintbrush properly in class. The only rule for this assignment is, you cannot paint it NICELY. Da heck? For the whole life we have been asked to be good, the best, flawless, bla bla bla and now you want me to do mistakes, to do it not properly? Maybe you will not feel the difficulty when you are reading this, try to do it! It is like the most painful feeling for me ever! I broke down because of this assignment, lol. Basically what she is looking for in this assignment is the gestures and expressions of how we execute a painting, mainly wants us to step out from our comfort zone, try with other styles of painting, for not being too precise in details (pfft modern art). I got A- for this mostly because she could see how pressured I was when in studio. I would say this is the toughest assignment ever, especially for a perfectionist like me. Wanna hear about the third assignment? Way creepier. Choose and locate a place within a space. Yes, this is the ONLY instruction for this assignment. The heck, the heck, the heck. My original idea was playground, which it is a heaven for children while another dimension for grownups, like they treat society as their playground now. Does not make sense right? I had no idea too. I dropped it because the nearest playground is like 30 minutes of walking distance, I really do not want to spend that much of time walking back and forth to take photos of it. LOL.I ended up use the space under the chair of my room, and Nadja actually likes this idea more, whut. However the final project of this course is to make an artist book. An artist book is an artwork that is presented in the form of book. That means we, artists twist the feature of a book to make it into an artbook. Like what Nadja did was she find quotes which contain the word "hope" and substitute it with "Nadja," which what her name stands for. Then compile the quotes together and published it into a book. Taa-daa, this is art deska. wtf. Right now I have no idea what to do for this project yet, kinda want to do a collection of indexical marks from human body, footprints maybe?<br />
<br />
The last art history (maybe not if I am doing art history as minor) is Modern Art, it is offered as online course. I got a lot of people saying "oh, so you get to cut some slack because you do not have to go to class for this." NO! I rather go to class for this course, because the readings is madafaka many as shits.We have 5 chapters to read averagely every week, and 1 research paper, 1 online discussion and 1 online quiz every month. I used to hate this course at the beginning because the texts does not make sense to me, why psychologist like Sigmund Freud will be included in the text?! The moment I started to love it is when I got back my mark for first assignment, omg I love Jeanne (the prof)! From this course I now know why artists started to paint nude and going abstract (stupid/crazy). But if I really doing a minor for art history, Modern Art is definitely not my concentration, I will go back to Renaissance. Hahaha.<br />
<br />
For communication courses, I am taking the second last required course which is Theories of Communication and Media by Michael Darroch. To be honest, I did not really concentrate in this class, mostly because I do not do the freaking long and complicated readings and I have Thao, Lei Gao and Charlie (will introduce later) beside me all the time in class. Haha. Contents of this course actually has a lot of similarities with Modern Art and Image, I always see terms from those 2 classes in here. Holy, it confuses me sometimes. But what I really learn in this class is, human are really "lebih" creatures.Its like someone made something and present it to the society then other people (so called critiques) appeared and give contexts that has nothing to do with the person who made that thing. For example we studied about map last week. GA in the lab threw us a question: why people create digital map today? Apparently he does not want "navigation" as answer. No one in the class answered, then he said is because the developer wants to make it as a guide to what they want their user to be, especially things, for instance shopping place, that they want to promote. If you are in the class you might go like "ohhhhh, why I never think this way." I got this reaction hell a lot in this course, lol. Another thing is we need to give a small presentation about the topic we talked about in lecture, my topic is "media screens," will be presenting at the last week of school, wtf, and I am the only Asian in that lab, stupid Thao dumped me lol. Oh and I did pretty good for the photography analysis heh, I am comparing with the three person I mentioned above O_O I have a 8 to 10 pages of research paper to write for this and a take home final paper. What is take home final? I do not really know, will figure it out eventually. And this is the only course that I have to write a final, yay?<br />
<br />
The last communication class I am taking is Message Design by Dr. Richard Lewis. The reason I am taking it now is because of my mentor's suggestion. She was like "take Lewis' course no matter whatever course he teaches," LOL.So this "legendary" Richard Lewis is a Canadian with Pakistan ethnicity. Message Design initially is like to learn how to make people convinced by the message you create, means persuasion lah. In this class, we do not have assignment, do not have to write papers, and lastly, no final. All we have is presentations, 1 mid term and 1 final projects. Sounds kind of laid back right? He wanted us to get into group of 4 to 5 people, Thao is definitely with me, another 2 group members are Adam and Sam. This is the first time (I think) of me teaming up with local students, I mean for a class that requires groups for the whole semester. Honestly I did not really learn anything from this class, perhaps is because I did not take it seriously. LOL. We only concentrate on chapters we need to present, other than that most of the time we just space out in class while others giving their presentations. Lewis is a weird guy, he hates formal presentation, he wants us to present things we studied from textbook to the class in creative way. So ended up most of the groups do game show, jeopardy and stuff. While for final project we can do anything as long as it has something to do with persuasion. My group decided to do university promotion, targeting at international students, also how to make them stay here longer, instead of drop out or transfer to somewhere else. Do not ask me what does this has to to with persuasion, I have no idea. And we actually took 2 weeks to decide this topic :|<br />
<br />
Overall, this semester considered not bad academically, I did not see any course that will end up getting C (finally). No, actually this semester is kind of fucked up because contents of Modern Art, Image and Theories of Communication and Media are very similar to each other, gahhhhh. Okay, it is not that bad, I just want to highlight this only, LOL.<br />
<br />
<u>Clubs/Social</u><br />
Omg this shit is epic. Right now I am in<br />
1. AIESEC - vice president of communications<br />
2. V.I.S.A - associate publications<br />
3. UNICEF - webmaster/vice president of internal relations<br />
4. Connecting for Success - Mentor<br />
<br />
Before becoming the vice president of communication in AIESEC, I was the director of public relations, wait did I mentioned this during the summer? Yea I guess so, lol, so skip. To be honest, I feel like I am already the vice president in COMM since the real VP does not really do things, or I should say she makes me feels like she does not even want to be in AIESEC, for example recently, I have to ask her 3 times in a week to set our portfolio meeting time. Oh god. So right now I am in transition, still doing the same thing, spam Facebook, design posters, bla bla bla. And oh I held a portfolio meeting last week, first time in my life!<br />
While for V.I.S.A, it was like magnificent at the beginning of the semester, we had bowling event, trip to Pelee Island, bla bla bla. But since last month we have NOTHING, not even executive meetings. And I feel like the current coordinator kind of drift V.I.S.A off what it used to be, sigh, I think he is not even in this group before this. My unofficial main job in this group is the photographer and part time designer, my boss (executive publications) loves to design so much so I will just let her do all the flyers posters she wants. Most likely I will leave this group soon because everything is too Indianized, not even kidding. In Windsor, when you say international, like events or groups, Indian is the represent of "international." One of the events we did for V.I.S.A was samosa sales, it turned out pretty good. Then the executive team says want to do Diwali stuff, and another Indian festival. People, please, why don't you guys just go have an Indian society or whatever?<br />
UNICEF is another headache for me. I cannot get it why people applied for an executive position but not willing to work, or even fucking reply my texts or emails? The one and only event of this club was the Halloween bake sale which we had it on October 31st, and until now I still do not know how many money we made. B-R-I-L-L-A-N-T.<br />
All these clubs above I tried so fucking hard to push all things to happen but people are just so fucking do not respond or irresponsible. Where is the excitement of university student supposed to have? DARN.<br />
The only one that I do not have to put too much focus is the mentor-mentee program. But the funny thing is that my mentee is not exactly in the same majors as me, we only share the visual arts part, and the more hilarious thing is that we are in the same Image class. AWKWARD TO THE MAX. However, she is a good girl, does not give too much trouble to me, what I have to do is just meet with her monthly and write report to send it to the program coordinator.<br />
<br />
<u>Work</u><br />
So, I work in the International Student Centre as front desk, but will be the soft landing coordinator for this coming winter, which main job is to help new students with transition. Bad thing about this job is, I only get 1 week of break during Christmas week. However working in the ISC is not bad, learned a lot, especially talking to people, I am less nervous when talking to strangers now.<br />
<br />
<u>Friends</u><br />
Made a lot of new friends this semester, mostly known by people recognize me as the Chinese who works in the International Student Centre. And mostly Indians......I do not want to talk about this anymore, urgh. I am trying my VERY best not to be racist okay but can you guys just freaking leave me alone, do not spam my Facebook message, do not randomly ask me what's up, do not say 你好 to me, stop trying to impress me by saying you are in engineering, arts is easy those stupid shit, just fucking stop these and be normal please. (Holy crap, I just realized I am writing all these in a terribly bad mood, lol). And for Chinese, please stop asking me why I speak Mandarin, please, please, please. I AM A CHINESE JUST LIKE YOU GUYS! I am getting frustrated each time when people question my identity. Please, leave me alone, or study more about other people country, do not simply make assumptions. (LOL shit, off topic already) Okay, right now in my communication class I have one more person to hang out with, she is Charlie transferred from Hong Kong, same stream in communication with me, wheee. And have Adam in Message Design, a Japanese and Scottish mix, punk style of kid, not bad to work together with. Also I met Sonin, from Mongolia, Master of Management student, looks like Small S of Taiwan, fun to hang out with too. People like Sheylen (Malaysian), Eric, Missy, Vincent, Ada, sometimes too. Occasionally Heidi, Ivy and Linda.<br />
<br />
<u>Housing</u><br />
Living with Fantine, everything is good so far if the another housemate would find a room to do her stuff with her boyfriend or keep the volume down. Cooking by myself while studying and dealing with club stuffs is not fun, most of the time I do not have the time to sit down and eat properly. However, moved to here is probably one of the wisest choices I made, it is so convenience in terms of going to LeBel building. Most likely I am going to live here until I finish university. $300 per month is totally a good deal.<br />
<br />
<u>Le Crush</u><br />
LOL I know I never have this section in previous report. Ahahahahah shy.Like I expected, we did not hang out as much like during summer because both of us are super duper busy people. However one of the things that is worth to mention here is that we went to the library together on the first day of school. Awesomeness feeling. The second thing would be the trip to Point Pelee. In case you want to know, the current cover photo on Facebook is shot by him. Haha. The most recent one would be last week? We went for Fuji Sushi, where we used to go during the summer and have their awesome salmon, and watched Iron Fist. We planned to watch Silent Hill but found out Iron Fist is on the cinema already which both of us thought it will not be released until next week. So we sneaked out from Silent Hill and went for Iron Fist. I honestly have no idea what is going to happen to us, and I like the current situation, it would be nice if something good happen, lets just hope the worst will not come.<br />
<br />
I wrote a lot at the beginning but the length dropped down a lot when comes to the end, probably because the writing mojo is gone. I will stop here for now.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15872010283010245678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-45362549742285551932012-10-24T02:27:00.003+08:002012-12-19T19:13:38.544+08:00I am a normal personI am an enduring fighter, with masked passions.<br />
<br />
Your responses indicate that you have a normal desire to share yourself with others. However, this need is not being adequately fulfilled at present.<br />
<br />
As a result, you unconsciously attempt to treat this emptiness with momentary interests and temporary passions. If left unaddressed, this imbalance leads to impulsive behavior and unnecessary risks.<br />
<br />
Past betrayals have left you generally suspicious of others’ behavior, particularly regarding romantic relationships. You fear you may be exploited if you open yourself too fully. Consequently, you often seek some proof of a new friend’s or lover’s sincerity before you decide to trust them.<br />
<br />
Further complicating your relationships is the anxiety you have about your unfulfilled personal and professional goals. You fear that you’ve made decisions that weren’t in your own best interest, or failed to take advantage of opportunities when they presented themselves.<br />
<br />
The desire to overcome these challenges sometimes lead you to seem pushy or even arrogant. Because this competitive urge is not always apparent to others, they are often surprised by it.<br />
<br />
However, the passion that underlies your desire for success is unique. This makes you unlike others. You cannot simply accept what life has to offer; you aspire for more. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://byzantiumtests.com/">http://byzantiumtests.com/</a> <br />
<div id="scrollbar1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font: inherit; left: 66px; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; top: -5px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal; widows: 2; width: 460px; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="viewport" style="border: 0px; font-size: 16px; font: inherit; height: 210px; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: 440px;">
<div class="overview" style="border: 0px; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; left: 0px; line-height: 18px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; top: -246px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="border: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">
The desire to overcome these challenges sometimes lead you to seem pushy or even arrogant. Because this competitive urge is not always apparent to others, they are often surprised by it.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">
However, the passion that underlies your desire for success is unique. This makes you unlike others. You cannot simply accept what life has to offer; you aspir </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-68869120455320685452012-10-15T04:49:00.000+08:002012-10-17T11:22:17.478+08:00Cartell's 16PF ModelScore 0 - 4
<br />
<br />
Warmth 1.9
<br />
Warmth is how nice to people you are. Low scorers are impersonal, distant, cool, reserved, detached, formal and aloof. High scorers are outgoing, attentive to others, kindly, easy-going, participating and like people.
<br />
<br />
Reasoning 2.3
<br />
Reasoning is how good at abstract thinking you are. Low scorers prefer common sense, high scorers prefer abstract thinking.
<br />
<br />
Emotional stability 2.2
<br />
Emotional stability is how in control of your emotions you are. Low scorers are reactive emotionally, changeable, affected by feelings, emotionally less stable, easily upset. High scorers are emotionally stable, adaptive, mature, and face reality calmly.
<br />
<br />
Dominance 2.2
<br />
Dominance is how assertive you are when dealing with people. Low scorers are deferential, cooperative, avoids conflict, submissive, humble, obedient, easily led, docile and accommodating. High scorers are dominant, forceful, assertive, aggressive, competitive, stubborn and bossy.
<br />
<br />
Liveliness 2.3
<br />
Liveliness is how much energy you display. High scorers are serious, restrained, prudent, taciturn, introspective and silent. Low scorers are lively, animated, spontaneous, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky, cheerful, expressive and impulsive.
<br />
<br />
Rule-consciousness 2.5
<br />
Rule-consciousness is how much you abide by authority. Low scorers are nonconforming, self indulgent and disregard rules. High scorers are rule-conscious, dutiful, conscientious, conforming, moralistic, staid and rule bound.
<br />
<br />
Social boldness 0.4
<br />
Social boldness is how socially confident you are. Low scorers are shy, threat-sensitive, timid, hesitant and intimidated. High scorers are socially bold, venturesome, thick-skinned and uninhibited.
<br />
<br />
Sensitivity 1.2
<br />
Sensitivity is how much you can be affected. Low scorers are utilitarian, objective, unsentimental, tough minded, self-reliant, no-nonsense and rough. High scorers are sensitive, aesthetic, sentimental, tender-minded, intuitive and refined.
<br />
<br />
Vigilance 2.2
<br />
Vigilance. Low scorers are trusting, unsuspecting, accepting, unconditional and easy. High scorers are vigilant, suspicious, skeptical, distrustful and oppositional.
<br />
<br />
Abstractedness 1.8
<br />
Abstractedness is how imaginative you are. Low scorers are grounded, practical, prosaic, solution oriented, steady and conventional. High scorers are abstract, imaginative, absent minded, impractical and absorbed in ideas.
<br />
<br />
Privateness 3.2
<br />
Privateness is how honest you are about who you are. Low scorers are forthright, genuine, artless, open, guileless, naive, unpretentious and involved. High scorers are rivate, discreet, nondisclosing, shrewd, polished, worldly, astute and diplomatic.
<br />
<br />
Apprehension 2.5
<br />
Apprehension is how troubled you are. Low scorers are self-assured, unworried, complacent, secure, free of guilt, confident and self satisfied. High scorers are apprehensive, self-doubting, worried, guilt prone, insecure, worrying and self blaming.
<br />
<br />
Openness to change 1.2
<br />
Openness to change is how not stuck in your ways you are. Low scorers are traditional, attached to familiar, conservative and respect traditional ideas. High scorers are open to change, experimental, liberal, analytical, critical, free-thinking and flexibile.
<br />
<br />
Self-reliance 3.8
<br />
Self-reliance is how contained your needs are. Low scorers are group-oriented and affiliative. High scorers are self-reliant, solitary, resourceful, individualistic and self-sufficient.
<br />
<br />
Perfectionism 2.6
<br />
Perfectionism is how high you standards are for yourself. Low scoerers tolerate disorder are unexacting, flexible, undisciplined, lax, self-conflict, impulsive, careless of social rules and uncontrolled. High scorers are perfectionist, organized, compulsive, self-disciplined, socially precise, exacting will power, control and self-sentimental.
<br />
<br />
Tension 2
<br />
Tension is how driven you are, crossed with impatience. Low scorers are relaxed, placid, tranquil, torpid, patient, composed low drive. High scorers are tense, high energy, impatient, driven, frustrated, over wrought and time driven.<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://personality-testing.info/tests/16PF.php">http://personality-testing.info/tests/16PF.php</a> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-74019775969507817482012-09-24T11:49:00.002+08:002017-02-18T04:46:01.471+08:00“自从你从4M下来后你变得好胜,爱比较…”-思恩<br />
<br />
对,4M的确是我人生多个转折点中的其中一个。我曾经不闻不问,不世俗,万事都随便,走一步算一步的态度快让老妈子抓狂。那个时候的我,可以说是精神上的邋遢,在加上金牛座的固执性格,没人说得动我,改得了我。
M班是当时小学的精英班,很多那班的学生现在都在接受着政府的奖学金在国外深造。可想而知,以一个普通学生的身份加入精英班是多么的有意思。压力和紧张是每天环绕在4M里的元素,学生在一角落狂背课文,学生在另一角演算数学题…没有一刻轻松空闲的时候。
<br />
<br />
久而久之,我知道我的随性在这里是生存不了的。所以慢慢的我也学会了一些M班生活法则。拿到测验后的比较在M班似乎是不可避免的,几乎每个人在班上都有他们认定的考场上的“对手。”虽然之后我在班上的排名一直垫底,在M班培养的习惯也已经摆脱不了了,也造成我现在这种个性-他妈的要强。
<br />
<br />
4M不是唯一造就我这种性格的因素,另外一个是我爸,背后原因是我家。黄家虽然大,可是真正成大事的没有一个。感觉上老爸对我的期望很高,可能是我的成绩是他三个孩子中最好的一个吧。但是老实说,我的成绩一点都不好,真的不好,我不想被归类成那种假惺惺的人,上学期CGPA 8.79 (2.5),如何?不知道为什么别人总以为我是那种很会读书的人。若我没常常去图书馆,我现在应该已经被退学回去马来西亚了。我是唯一也是第一个在国外上正式的政府大学的人,毫无前例。上大学一直是老爸的梦想,所以在各种情况下我警告我自己,不可以他妈的倒下。
<br />
<br />
老爸也说加入社团,在学校找个工作。现在我两个都有了,而且都做的很好。但是我很累,真的很累。但是我不能随便退出,不想被人说不负责任。而且在工作和社团里都得到了非常大的成就感,慢慢地学业就落后了,second year真的是他妈的一点都不容易,他妈的多readings,他妈的image课老师以为我们只上一堂课总是要我们用两天完成他妈的多东西。老娘是完全没有时间啊fuck。
<br />
<br />
不知道这个是我的limit了,还是我还可以有进步的空间,还可以做比这个更多的。我希望是二者吧,至少在未来生活不会跌个狗吃屎。
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-92122552879157964412012-09-20T11:59:00.000+08:002012-09-24T11:59:44.834+08:00金牛座不容易喜欢上一个人。有人说金牛座对伴侣的要求太高,其实并非这样,金牛座注重的是感觉。只是那么轻描淡写的一眼,那个人已经吸引了金牛的所有注意力,从此目光便无法转移。用一秒钟爱上一个人,然后再付出一生去忘记,金牛座就是这样的试验品!<br />
<br />
Oh god, I am still in this deep whirlpool. I like the current situation, though I am looking forward for what's up next.<br />
<br />
I do not feel like let go, at all, for 21 years, you are the first one ever that gives me feelings like this. <br />
<br />
Now the thing is, should I hold on? Do you worth my time? Are you the right one?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259609061860173206.post-77224137318353731212012-08-10T10:33:00.003+08:002012-08-10T10:33:40.679+08:00It's Just A NameIf you are stalking my Facebook, you probably remember that I posted something about Chinese addresses people in full name, no matter how close their relationship is. However I found this extremely irritating, because in Malaysia when people call you in full name means you are in deep shit, right? I guess same as in North America, when a mum shouting at her rebellious son yada yada, she yelled at her son in full name.
<br />
<br />
So, I asked one of my Chinese friends for the reason. She said it's because some of the people only have 1 character after their last name like Ma Chao, Yu Hang, etc. It would be awkward if we just call them by their first name only, like Chao, or Hang, you won't want to call them Chao Chao or Hang Hang right? Which makes a good point though, because most of the Chinese people in Malaysia has 2 characters after last name, like mine, Wong Win Shi. So people would like call me Win Shi. For them, by just addressing people in first name will give them goosebumps because they think that sounds too intimate, LOL.
<br />
<br />
But still, since I have so many Chinese friends in Windsor, whenever they call me in full name I feel uneasy, felt like they are being rude, like how mum usually yell at me back home. LOL.
However, that's my side of story. My friends feel uncomfortable too when local people call them in first name, so most of them got themselve an English name instead. And another problem is non-Chinese could not pronounce Chinese name correctly.
<br />
<br />
So yea, that's the cultural-shock. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3