Wednesday, October 30, 2013

First post of the semester

I have been getting a lot of butterflies in stomach these days, just saying.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Just Because I am a Communications Student

What is communications?
Communication as an academic field relates to all that ways we communicate, so it embraces a knowledge. The information relates both to verbal and nonverbal messages.
Communication teachers and scholars have developed a definition of the field of communication to clarify it as a discipline for the public: 
"the field of communication focuses on how people use messages to generate meanings within and cross various context, cultures, channels and media. The field promotes the effective and ethical practice of human communication."

Did you know...
it is estimated that 75% of a person's day is spent communicating in some way. As a college student, 69% of your communication time in spent on speaking and listening. You spend 17% of your communication time on reading and 14% writing. To put it in another perspective; we listen a book a day, speak a book a week, read the equivalent book a month, and write the equivalent book a year.

Career options:
there are many career paths that a person with Communication major can choose. Here are some job titles that former graduates with Communication majors hold. Use this as an ideas list, remember that is represents some, but certainly not all of the careers you might consider. Some careers may take additional schooling.

Personnel recruiter
Admissions counselor
Sales representative
Public information officer
Newsletter editor
Vice-president human resources
Director of training and development
Benefits administrator
Executive manager
Industrial and labor relations
Customer service representative
Human resources manager

Advertising specialist
Media planner
Creative director
Public researcher
Marketing specialist
Account executive manager
Media buyer
Media sales representative

Communication education:
Language arts coordinator
Drama director
School counselor
Audiovisual specialist
Director of college news
Educational fund-raiser
High school speech forensics/debate coach
Speech communication department chairperson
Education researcher
Educational administrator
Educational tester
Alumni officer

Broadcasting station manager
Film/tape librarian
Unit manager
Transmitter engineer
Advertising sales coordinator
Disc jockey
Comedy writer
Floor manager
Director of broadcasting
Community relation director
News writer
Technical director
Market researcher
News and relation manager
Casting manager
Business manager
Talk show host

News service researcher
Acquisitions editor
Script writer
Technical writer
Media interviewer

Public Relations:
Publicity manager
Marketing specialist 
Corporate public affairs
Account executive
Sales manager
Media planner
News writer
Adverting manager
Development officer
Media analyst
Creative director
Public opinion researcher

Theatre/Performing arts: 
Performing artist
Arts administrator
Costume design
Lighting theatre critic
Stage manager
Theatre professor
Script writer
Performing arts educator
Scenic designer
Makeup artist
Casting director

Public information officer writer
Campaign director
Program coordinator
Legislative assistant
Research specialist
Elected official

High Technology Industries:
Trainer for communication tech.
System analyst
Language specialist
Circuit television producer/director
Technical copywriter
Cognition researcher
Audio & visual computer display specialist

Communication and Health Care:
Health educator
Medical grants writer
Clinic public relations director
Research analyst
Health personnel educator
Hospice manager
Activities director
School health care administrator
Hospital director of communication
Health communication analyst
Medical training supervisor
Medical center publications editor
Health care counselor
Marketing director

International Relations and Negotiations:
On-Air international broadcasting
Corporate representative
Student tour coordinator
Foreign correspondent

Public defender
District attorney
Legal researcher
Legal secretary
Legal educator
Corporate lawyer
Private practice lawyer
Mediation & negotiation specialist
Legal reporter

Social and Human Services:
Public administrator
Recreation supervisor
Community affairs liaison
Religious leader
Social worker
Human rights officer
Park service public relations specialist
Mental counselor

Monday, July 1, 2013

ESL Problems

I am an ESL person, I never used English in life until I started Canadian Pre-U. As a matter of fact, I kinda started to have contact with the English world when I started to listen to Hitz songs when form 5. Even when I was young I read Mandarin subtitles while watching Disney's. My family is a traditional Chinese family, we speak Mandarin, Hokkien, Hakka, Malay, and very minimal of broken English. Therefore, the English language is kind of never useful in my life before. 

So, having English conversation with people was something I would never had imagined, and surprisingly it came quite smooth for me. p/s: I can't speak Manglish, I instinctively just can't put "lah" behind any English sentence, it just sounds weird for me. 

When we say English, America and Great Britain are countries that will pop into our head directly. The Malaysian English and English in anywhere of the world is very different. Have been speaking English for 3 years plus, if you want me to make a summary, I would say that proper English is wordy and polite (?), Malaysian English is, uh, straight forward and can only be understand by Malaysians and Singaporeans.

I found this posts on, I found it quite useful for ESL people like us, especially people who are going for abroad study soon.

It seems to me that English people, or bananas, have some habits while they speaking English, for example,   

表达自己意见 when you want to give your opinion:
1. I think that... *最简单的
2. It seems to me that... *可以用作表达意见,或者summarize或者confirm对方说的话。
3. I would argue that...*这里面用would来弱化语气。
4. Just to go along with what you said... *感谢读者下方留言提醒我这句话,真的很好用,承上启下。这句话还好在,它使你现在插话看上去legitimate,因为你是为了和前面的那个人go along啊。不赶紧接话,不就along不上了嘛。
5. Going back to what xxx said... * 同上。不过一般是你已经说了几句,此事,想要relate to something 别人刚刚提到过或者蜻蜓点水说道的东西。这句话的好处就是,一能bring others on board说看我的说法和你是有一致之处的, 二能表现他刚才说的东西你还有印象。
6. So basically 所以基本上 (added by myself, from experience)

同意或者反对 agree or disagree :
I agree with you. *最简单的
Building on what XX has just said, ....
I am with you..., but [main point]. * 这里I am with you不一定表示同意也不一定表示反对,它主要的意思是说“你说的我听懂了/我跟上你说的了。”
I follow your logic, but have you thought about/considered this... [main point]...? *和上面一句话的逻辑是一样的:“你说的我明白了,但是...”
I see what you are saying, but I’m not sure I would argue that... *和上面两句话的逻辑一样。
With all due respect, I think...

谦虚的反对to disagree politely :
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn't [a different topic]...?
I’m not an expert on..., it seems to me that...
I might be wrong, but ...
I suspect that I lack some [background] information about this aspect, but here is my two cents.
I am not sure about this..., you might want to check with Professor X... Would you mind letting me know what he/she says?
[别人说了一堆之后] This is one way to look at it. Another way to look at it might be....

Just to clarify,...
May I ask a follow-up question?
Could you say more (about it)? *不确定自己是不是听懂了,请别人多解释一些。
Could you elaborate on this?

会议报告、演讲之后提问 for Q&A in official events :
That’s an amazing model/useful concept, but it occurred to me that [this/something] might also play a role....Have you considered ...?
Thanks for your talk. I completely agree with your conclusion, but as I’m sure you’re aware, Dr. XX explains this in a different way, and I was wondering if you could address her theory. * “but as I’m sure you’re aware”完全是给对方一个台阶下,可能那个理论他根本没有考虑过。但是如果对方是很senior的,我们也需要客套一下。

需求帮助 seeking help :
I was wondering if I could talk to you about... *一般都是用过去时,在email里面也是如此。而且,虽然was wondering/hoping这种进行时看起来很怪,但是用法就是这样子的。
I was hoping that if I could talk to you about...
I was wondering if it’d be possible that you...*
Sorry to bother you, Professor X....
I realize this is an unusual request...
I realize that you are very busy...
Thanks for your time.
Thanks in advance for your help.
It would be great if you could...*这个是最常用的,尤其是email里面

Use these and you will feel BANANAAAAAAAAA, aka act pro lah, make those ang mohs feel like you are social-able. LOL.

Being talkative is kind of a norm in English spoken countries, I had to make myself hyper and talk a lot when I am with them so that the conversation and atmosphere won't be weird. But still, being Malaysian is the best okay.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Why Coming Home Is Hard

I have been home for 2 months plus, everyday I am missing Windsor, a place that I have spent 2 years living on my own. Everyday, I am physically in Malaysia but mentally in Canada. My brain just cannot stop comparing this two country, one is my homeland, one is my possibly country of residence.

2 years of absence in Malaysia made me feel like a stranger in everywhere, until today I still feel like a tourist in Malaysia. I had to admit, things changed, feelings changed, literally everything changed, especially the fact that my brother is grown up enough to work as a property agent and his girlfriend is staying in our house, specifically my room. The way of conversation held at home has totally changed, more matured I might say? They were talking about contents that I do not understand that much, stuff that I do not really fond about it. End up I enjoy playing with Claire more than talking to the people at home. 

Wanted to write blog about this long time ago but I failed to find a good time to actually sit down and write it, until I found this article, which says almost 100% about my situation - the dilemma, struggle, confusion, etc.

Coming home after months or even years away is hard because the people you are coming home to only know — and thus expect — the you that left. This is true for the college kid who is still teased by his family about his sloppiness, his pizza-only diet, or his C’s-will-do work ethic, despite the fact that he actually worked fairly hard to get his act together while living on his own. This is true of the 20-something who is still referred to by her mother as a Prima Donna, regardless of the fact that she just spent 18 months living out of a backpack. This is true of anyone who has ever come home to find that the people there no longer see them as they see themselves.

There is no one to blame here but the game-changers that are expectation and time. We can’t help that we left as the people we left as, or that the people we said goodbye to screenshotted us in their minds, remembering our carefree manner, our insecure smile or our constant refusal to do the dishes.

But time, almost by definition, changes things (read: us). This, incidentally, is probably a good thing. How many people do you know that, if asked if they wanted to be exactly the same in two years, would say yes? Probably not many. Furthermore, what was the point of study abroad or taking a promotion in a new city or backpacking Asia if you weren’t going to let it change you in some way?

For better or for worse, few escape time. Time is a potter who takes the already-drying pieces we are as 20-somethings, composed of a certain shade of clay with a determined grit, and molds us slightly, sometimes gradually and delicately changing the structure of the entire piece. Sometimes time smooths out a previously jagged edge. Sometimes time is over-ambitious, and in attempting to pull a vase out a bowl, renders the clay a bit too thin in the middle. Sometimes that thin clay even tears.

But no matter what, the wheel keeps spinning and rarely does the clay just sit there untouched. As we get older, the clay begins to harden in the air, and the alterations become increasingly difficult. The miracle of damp clay is that it cannot shatter.

And so we come home, molded by time and the experiences it offered. We come home, in some way altered, to the people we have left with a screenshot of our former selves; an expectation of the person we were.

Coming home is hard because, in many cases, the people we come home to will want to understand. They will beg for stories, and their eyes will dart back and forth between ours as they listen. They will ask the right questions at the right moments.

But, intent as they may be in wanting to understand (“Tell me everything. No seriously, I mean everything”), they weren’t there when that handsome once-a-stranger clumsily nudged the lego house that was your heart off of the coffee table. They weren’t one of the friends down on their hands and knees searching for the scattered pieces in the dust under the couch. They weren’t there as you tried to reassemble the structure, but struggled, as no step-by-step instruction manual could be found.

They weren’t there when you lost a friend to alcohol poisoning, they weren’t there the night that guy from the gym assaulted you. They didn’t spend weeks on weeks walking up and down the Australian alps, they didn’t have the same eye-opening conversations with the surprisingly happy homeless people you met in the Philippines. They weren’t in your mind that nondescript Sunday you woke up and decided that actually you’re not really as bad as you once thought.

They didn’t experience these things with you, despite your subsequent Skype sessions and the emails that had half as many words as Anna Karenina, but they will experience the way time and circumstance have changed you. This is not necessarily a good or bad thing, but it is a reality that we are often under-prepared for.

Coming home to someone (read: not your mother), due to the familiar culprits of time and expectation, is even harder. It’s so hard that it’s almost like the occasion warrants some sort of peremptory message, something that tactfully conveys the thoughts that insist on playing tag in your head when you can’t fall asleep at night. The ones in which you blurt out something like this:

“Listen, it’s not that I’m not really excited to see you, but I think we need to maybe manage our expectations a bit. We haven’t seen each other in what will be 14 months. We are 5,000 miles apart. We haven’t spoken face-to-face in over a year. You’ve romanticized me, and I can’t blame you. It’s impossible not to airbrush someone’s flaws when you are infatuated with the idea of them from a distance. I’ve done the same to you. This is not to say it couldn’t work out, but simply to point out (to both of us) that it might not. We’ve changed. So let’s do ourselves both a favor and press reset on our expectations, because I don’t want either of us to be kept up at night by the idea of someone who doesn’t exist anymore. That being said, please know that I look forward to meeting you again.”

None of this is to imply that leaving your “home” for months or years at a time inherently weakens or destroys relationships, but sometimes it will. Remember that high school friend you got coffee with a year after graduation, only to discover that you actually had nothing in common besides chemistry class and mean girls to gossip about? Relationships like that, based on nothing beyond a common experience, may start to disintegrate, and perhaps you should let them.

The converse of this is that the people you feel just as connected to after months or years of geographic distance, after all the circumstantial things you had in common (location, classes, workplace, the team you were on, the people you had to talk about) have fallen away, these are your people. These are the people who will give a toast at your wedding; who will be drunk with you on your 40th birthday. This is your home team.

I like to joke that if you want to know who your real friends are you should disappear for a year and see who is still there when you get back. I say this laughing, but in reality, few things could be closer to the truth.

Coming home is hard, because managing your expectations of people is hard. Coming home is hard, because changed people mean a changed relationship; an altered dynamic. Coming home is hard because explaining the events that changed you, perhaps in a few dramatic hours or days, is hard. Coming home is hard because you see yourself every single day and may not even realize that you’re different until you don’t quite manage to fit back into your old role. Coming home is hard because often some of the places you used to occupy have been filled — by new best friends, new love interests, a new social dynamic. Coming home is hard because you’re expected to pick up where you left off, when in reality you’re miles away from that spot.

Coming home is hard because your family isn’t perfect. Your mother, despite all the effort she put into raising you, is probably still over-bearing or slightly (highly) irrational. Your father, in spite of all of the support he has provided you, may be just as critical as you left him. Your cousin might still be losing his war with alcohol; your aunt might still be wrestling with divorce papers. It will be just as difficult as it has always been to be with people 24/7, to see them through their nastiest moods and that annoying way they always talk with food in their mouth.

Coming home is hard, but coming home can be also be wonderful. Coming home means your mom’s famous brownies, your little brother’s sorority girl imitation, and drinking port with your dad. Coming home means that park you used to drink in, it means the the bed you’ve been missing for months. It means people that have had you counting down the days until you could hug them. It means someone, perhaps the officer that checks your passport upon arrival or the woman who has worked in your neighborhood 7/11 since you were a kid, saying “welcome home.”

Coming home is hard, but it’s worth it. 


At here, I see no future, I can not be really happy, I feel useless/extra, I do not even eat nasi lemak and things that are made of seafood. 
Fuck it, 2 more months then I am out of here. 

Monday, May 20, 2013

Eh future?

The more I grew older, the more I am unsure about my future path. The dilemma right now is, to live a happy life or to carry on the family business?

I never experience homesick until I come back to Malaysia. Yes, I miss Windsor, I miss everything of it. I never actually think of Malaysia that much when I was over there, I don't know why. Maybe is the relationship attachment, I do not have a lot back home.

Until now, I honestly do not know what kind of career I want to do, the only thing I am certain is, I will be travelling a lot, and end up in a western country, own a cottage and farm, at last die there. So before that comes, what should I do?

I do not have any expertise nor a good looking degree that makes everyone want to hire me. And the bigger problem is, I do not know which country I should stay in right now. One is homeland, one is a place I can find myself.

Don't even talk about get married, I will die alone. Yea.

What Canada Did to Me

23 days in Malaysia have made me realized how Canada has changed me so much, physically and mentally.

Being a failed Malaysian that does not like to eat spicy and seafood, Canada was a paradise for me. In Malaysia, chili sauce seems to be the default condiment for burger, every time when I order a burger I have to keep remind the person not to put chili sauce, but I still get spicy burger sometimes. On the other hand in Canada, ketchup, as known as tomato sauce for Malaysian is the first choice for most of the food. This is one of the reasons I love Western countries. I seem to eat most of the food served in Canada, the comparison was kind of striking for such a picky person like me. So yea, I gained weight, I am having a good BMI right now, not gonna lie. I was forever underweight before this.

Weather Tolerance
Before going to the Great White North, I was considered a person who has a decent weather tolerance. I can stand either hot and cold very well, at least I did not complaint. After Canada's -20 degrees Celsius in winter and 35 degrees Celsius in summer, I thought that Malaysia's forever summer is nothing. However, it proves that I was wrong. I cannot really stand the heat in Malaysia anymore, I have been sweating here everyday. Have been indulging myself in air conditioned rooms for most of the time, I know it is bad, but I just cannot stand it. Imagine sweating and have running nose at the same time, the feeling sucks.

Sleeping Behaviour
It is hard to imagine that I could be so productive at Windsor, which I still could do a lot of work even though I only had 6 hours of sleep the day before. However in here, somehow, 12 hours of sleeping just cannot do any work, I will utilize every free time I have to pay back some sleep debt. I do not really know what does this has to do with the setting but my dad says it is because I have more responsibilities over there that makes me cannot sleep well, however at home, I do not have to worry about anything that's why I have good sleep. Not a very acceptable reason though. Perhaps I am still living in the Canada hour.

Safety Awareness
Before coming back, my friends have warned me about the declining safety in Malaysia. At first, I do not realize it, until my mum threw me alone somewhere in Bukit Tinggi. She asked me to stay there for a while because she gonna go bank. So, I stood in front of a mamak for half an hour, the whole process was terrifying, I do not know why. Maybe it is the feeling of pedestrians gave me, those weird stares, no warm greetings or smiles like how Canadians would give to strangers. Sense of being safety includes driving on the road as well. People in Klang drive more dangerous than ever, they seemed rushing every time. I can not really drive like how I used to be anymore.

Mentality is a huge one. Everything I see right now seem abnormal, I will compare it with Canada. One of the things that has been troubling me is the value of money of Malaysian and Canadian. In homeland, seem like everything we do, money is the driver. Whereas in Canada, happiness is the ultimate, business comes second. I already have Canada's perception since young, so I cannot say that Canada has switched my Malaysian ideology, I am not a very money-minded person, I used to complaint to my parents that they had been giving me too much of pocket money, not even kidding. My family is the most obvious example, in a normal family dinner, my dad would just keep talking about business, everything is money related, every amount mentioned is a thousands and above. Malaysia is very much dominated by capitalism, even the weekend activity could be just go to the mall and spend money.I know it is unfair to accuse Malaysians have a very strong 铜臭味 but I honestly do not know how to view this practice and neutralize it. It makes me feel like Malaysians are doing everything to get something from someone (government especially), Canadians are more about giving out, which they focus on volunteering, charities, etc. And more importantly, everything is so heart warming over there, it makes you believe that everything you do is being appreciated, although saying 'thank you' is just being polite, but it truly will brightens a person's day. I don't know if I should say Malaysian is being rude or what, but what I am trying to say is that, communications could be a lot better if we don't use negative words that much, put in more patience in managing relationship. Facebook is one of the best platform to showcase how Malaysians talk to each other, especially during GE2013, it was just depressing to me, discourse battle everyday about politics, so disturbing and at the same time worrying about Malaysians' media literacy. At the same time, amazed how media can easily manipulate people's mind. It makes don't know which side to go with, either go with the flow or have my own point of view. But whatever right now, I am a Malaysia that has a Canadian mind now, having mind fuck everyday.

Apa khabar? Bonjour? Kanasai la!

Saturday, April 20, 2013


disclaimer: 此文含有酒精,若什么文字奇怪的地方请见谅。


好吧,其实是几乎每一个比较要好的男生朋友都会end up这样。我不知道是我哪里做错了还是我本来就有问题,不然就是我太白痴,相信这世界上会有男女纯友谊。问了几个男生,他们对这种关系的看法不一样,也很极端。每一次遇到这种问题的时候,我脑里的答案一般都是“我喜欢你吗?还是那种感觉是一种依赖?”然后之后会变成“我完全没有想谈恋爱的欲望”,在最后想法会成为“就算在一起之后会怎么样?会和现在有什么分别?” 再然后就会想,他和我之前那么要好就是为了要这样?还是日久生情?到最后就会对这份感情的quality产生怀疑。


很多时候我怀疑自己是同性恋,更多时候可能是无性恋,(对啦我是yeast LOL)。一般想到“就算在一起之后会怎么样?会和现在有什么分别?”这个问题后我会很害怕,因为会导致我想到“我真的能和这个人过上日子?”这种问题。然后会想到我的人格,我自己很清楚如果和我是泛泛之交的会觉得我很好相处,相识级别高一点的惊喜会越多。我有想过不想隐藏我多数的人格,但是来了加拿大这个想法只能被完全去除了。因为我在这里所谓的“改变,”大部分马来西亚的亲朋戚友都不赞同。我只是想说,我没有改变,我在这里所做的一切一切都是我梦寐以求的,都是埋葬在我心底深处的渴望。但是,看来没有人能谅解,都会以“啊这不像是颖诗会做的事情、啊颖诗变了”说真的,这类的话非常的伤我,不只会把我打成原形,也会让我不想回去。因为我在这里真的很快乐,几乎我做的每一件是都很有意义,都会在某一种形式上帮到别人,然手享受那种走在街上认识70%的人那种感受。当然,这是好的一面,不好的一面,我觉的有时候我还蛮恶劣的,尤其是内心语言上。我不喜欢一个人的话,我会打从心底把你祖宗十八代骂光 LOL 好啦回正题。所以我觉得我性格方面不是每一个人都可以接受得了的,如果要的话我也先得过我自己这关。不过目前为止,没人闯得了,包括我自己已经死了很多条命了。


从现在开始,回到以前,live alone, die alone的生活模式吧。自己和自己吃饭也不错的。


是是,大家都爱我那雄性荷尔蒙, 爱我那土鳖装女神样。你以为我想啊?!

Friday, April 19, 2013

22 Things You Could Be Doing With Your Life Besides Getting Married

1. Getting an advanced degree in something that has been your passion for as long as you can remember (even if it is Princess Fairy Astronaut Mermaid).

2. Traveling the world and meeting amazing new people (and occasionally getting drunk/sleeping with them, but as it is international, it clearly doesn’t count).

3. Dating various people in your city and having lots of small flings because you want to really take your time to find the right person to settle down with, and you just haven’t clicked to that extent with anyone yet.

4. Taking up a hobby and finding out that you love it enough to start pursuing it as a career on the side.

5. Making adorable crap shaped like kittens and tiny whales and selling it on Etsy.

6. Starting a blog and, despite having an average daily readership of three people including your mother, maintaining and growing it with love.

7. Not even considering being in a romantic relationship because you are simply having too much fun being young and not having to worry about anyone but yourself.

8. Going on road trips with your friends and taking a picture making the duck face (ironically, of course) in front of every monument you pass.

9. Starting a serious (and somewhat costly) love affair with reading, and with the general feel and smell of books in your hand.

10. Having tons of mind-blowing sex with whomever your precious little heart/genitals desire.

11. Learning how to cook and, despite not knowing how to properly boil water at the start, finding yourself able to make some pretty complex recipes.

12. Having dinner parties because you are classy and like to get white wine drunk.

13. Couch surfing and meeting crazy, awesome, fun new people who only ~30 percent of the time smell like bong water.

14. Flipping a house (which seems like a sweet way to make money, but who actually has the time to lay shingles oneself?).

15. Watching every Disney movie in chronological order.

16. Getting back in touch with old friends you’d almost forgotten about and realizing how a change in time or location can do wonders to highlight everything that you always loved about each other but may have taken for granted because of familiarity.

17. Crying over the fact that you will never bone Tom Hardy.

18. Getting really into shape for no reason other than you want to wake up every morning with a lot of energy and feel incredibly good in your own skin.

19. Spending more time with your parents, because they are awesome and give you free food and compliments.

20. Acquiring a pet and bestowing upon it all of the love that you may have otherwise wasted upon an actual human being.

21. Going through an “espresso” phase where you get really obsessed with proper tamping technique and sun-or-shade grown. 22. Doing exactly what you want and not being even the slightest bit concerned with whether or not anyone thinks you’re hitting your milestones at the “right” moments.


p/s: I will back to blogging, soon!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What is Your Shoe Size?

I probably sound pathetic by keep saying I am taking 6 courses, involving in 3 clubs and have an on-campus job in this semester. Yea, those are nothing, I do not deserve to have a rest, I cannot whine, I cannot tell the others how tired I am, I cannot drop all of my responsibilities right now, I cannot disappoint the others, and yada yada yada.

Friends do not understand my stresses, never mind. But mum's ignorance is way too much for me to bear, I am trying my very best to be your so called perfect daughter, so that I can be better than your friend's daughter. All those things I am doing right now is not enough? How can I make you happy and be proud of me? Be a psychology major? Get a boyfriend? Graduating this year? What the fuck do you want from me? All I ever ask from you is just some compliments.

Some people when they are facing problems they will look for someone to talk to, for most of the time I am the listener, I cannot say that I am a good listener, however I do try to put myself in others' shoe when I am trying to give them advice. Why is it never the another way round? Hey, I have problems too! Can't some people just shut the fuck up and listen to me? Or just zip up and let me release stress in my own way? You guys make me feel like I do not deserve being tired, I am not good enough to say I need some rest. Once again this makes me lost faith in human relationships. So called friends? Pfft. Mum? Pfft. I am the one and only person who I can trust and have believe in, no one else.

And it is just the third week of school. Please do not break down, at least not now.

I just want someone to listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. No pun intended.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

2013 already? Goddamnit.

And I am 22 already. New year, new semester, new hair, new resolution.

One of the things I need to do this year: have-no-mercy, I have to stop do things that has no benefits for me. I am enough and tired of doing stuff for other, right now, is time to think for my own, only myself. Do I sound selfish? Think of how much you people made use and took granted from me. Now I just want to have more time for myself, I do not even know what I want, who I am already.

Second thing,  try to stay alive. 6 courses, on campus job, 4 extra co curricular activities that I have big responsibilities on, maybe (hopefully) the OC of a big event,  perhaps there are something else but I can not remember right now, lol.

Third, be prepared to be home. I have tried a lot of negative stuffs from people study abroad went back home. Like things changed, peopled changed, yada yada. Ultimate plan, if back home bound disappoints me I will just go on a food trip, concentrate on food hunting only.

Lastly, try not to be single anymore? I think I have this in all of my resolutions but it never work out, so, meh. Does not really put high hope on this though.

So uh, happy new year? Congratulations for being still alive after the so-called Mayan's end of the world.