I X YOU

i cant let go
i cant let go my hands from you
although you treat me like that
for how many years?
i am still the one who surrender first
the most weak and the most boh-yong is me
being hurt until whole body with ugly scars
i feel hurt and...sad too
but i dont know to respone
silence is my action
my heart is bleeding
disappointing freighted my soul
sadness accompany me day by day
why i keep repeat the same mistake
i know what's the bad effect will come
i know i will get hurt
i know i am doing this
but i dont know WHY
first time? maybe
never do this before? i think so
too softie? yes i am
they tell me to forget about it
stop being stubborn
hurting is enough for me
i cant
i failed to do it
i dont want it anymore
rather choose to lost my memory
these is so so so suffer
we happy together before but after leave me here emo-ing
why?
i cant figure it out
my memory now in pieces
many little small pieces
i catched some
some sneaked out from my hand
stop
please stop what now you doing to me
hate that i just cant say that three words
"I XXXX YOU"
infront of you

do you feel my tears?

BEEN TAGGED!!

i been tagged by JC~~

Instructions: once u've been tagged, write 16 random things about facts, habits or goals about you. Tag 10 ppl and u can't tag ppl who've tagged u. List their names and why u choose them.

1. date for releasing SPM result coming!! i am so nervous on it!! "lolz"
2. so sick for my blurriness
3. choosy person i am
4. working recently
5. able to drive with one hand and another hand busy on cellphone "i am pround of it!! XD"
6. still struggle on something lame =.=
7. i like bak kut teh a lot!!!
8. wish to own a cafe "once" @.@
9. love my babe nicky~~~
10. i miss my form 5 classmate BADLY!!
11. gonna make some calls later
12. hope what i think same with what i do
13. wish to have a relaxing trip
14. i want a laptop!!
15. hate treated like a slave
16. i want a boyfriend "haha"

I tag:
-amanda
-carlyn
-shanmay
-rouyan
-chloe
-david
-loonhan
-suee
-cecilia

reason: i like ah~ haha

今天

今天...照常做工
今天...看到一只小狗
今天...看到一个长头发的怪男在买鸡饭
今天...心情不好
今天...突然间很想骂粗口
今天...跑了4间银行
今天...头昏眼花
今天...很讨厌ebuddy
今天...我不是我

明天...我会在吗？

p/s: 有个坏消息和一个好消息
1-我不去NS了
2-我快搬家了

哪个是好消息，哪个是坏消息
我不知道
真的

我真的很乱
平静的生活不长久
没有烦恼的日子很快过
为什么？
只有一个原因？
好像是吧
对了
就是那个原因

T-E-S-T

Oh Man~It's Damn Accurate!!!

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Blue-That's Me! XD
Red-Advices I Should Accept ^^

to my friends
have a try!!

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Out Of Service

Code: WWS001
Type: Camera
Date: Unspecified (around December 2008)
Reason: Drop to the floor
Physical Damage: Screen Broke
Note: REPAIRING
Cost: N/A

Code: WWS002
Type: Second Hand Computer
Date: Unspecified (around January 2009)
Reason: Mother Board Loose
Physical Damage: Computer cannot turn on
Note: REPAIRED
Cost: F.O.C

Code: WWS003
Type: Cellphone
Date: Unspecified (around January 2009)
Reason: N/A
Physical Damage: Back and Cancel key not function
Note: REPAIRED
Cost: F.O.C (Under Warrenty)

***************************************
hah
i know a bit lame ("too LAME")
hope you guys know what i'm trying to say lar
hehe
these 3 electronics are my personal belongings
3 of them since when so "FRIEND" spoil at almost the same time
i am SO LUCKY man~
the most pity one maybe is my camera
last year until now still dying
lol
and it's repair cost might cost me RM400
ALAMAK~~
next on
that second hand computer
my dad been cheated by the salesman that told him this pc is fast and new
another hand
it's worst than my old one
ha!
the only advantage is me and my siblings dont need to fight for using computer "yay~"
curious about why this pc keep spoil
everytime take to repair and the technician told me inside something loose =.=
last time was graphic card
this time was mother board
aiks
why will loose?
blame my 2 bros itchy legs laa
when play maple until high they will kick the CPU
kolian sia =.=
next time i saw whose leg kicking i chop it off!!
muahahahahaha~~
okay turn next
my dar sek810i T^T
brought it on a memoriable date
31 OCT 2008-the day i graduated from Kwang Hua
the 2 keys just not function suddenly
i can't figure it out the answer
i dont even drop it!! EVER!! T^T
seems today get it back from factory
of course is SS TIME!!! "bahahaahaah"

Specless~LOL

Shocked? XD

ehh
so you all know d lar
these 3 is important for me
haha~
cant live without it "not so serious laa"

MY BABIES!! DONT LET ME WORRY AGAIN OHH~~

...LOST...

i LOST my passion
i LOST my energy
i LOST my idea
i LOST ME
these day no more energy
what i am living for?
born, study, work, die
i stuck between study and work
what situation i staying now?
everyday stick to computer wasn't my living purpose
what should i do?
i am not good in studying
i am not good in counting
i am not good in doing business
i am not good in communicating
i am NOT GOOD at all
i am just NOTHING
what else i can do?
now nothing can make me feel interesting and excited anymore
even hang out, sing k, shopping, watch movie etc
WTH i am doing
just like a DEAD people
no emotions no feeling
why i failed show my emotions to other?
why i just cant say NO to others?
no any relation with EQ kay?
after left secondary school
felt that winshi not winshi anymore
she already become another person
easy to angry, cry, tired, and no more patient
i dont know what i'm doing
depressed
confused
i cant survive and cant make myself live in iife without
target
purpose
meaningless

when i write this
i'm totally DOWN
dont ask me WHY
because i DONT KNOW what's going on AT ALL

i fear to change
i'm scare to be alone
i dont want to face these changes
i still wanna be a student
adult's world is so complicated
there is many many responsiblity on their shoulder
heavy and tired
everyday need to put much much attention on behavior and acting
should being responsible on every action

maybe
i just suitable to be a kid

情人节

总喜欢你的回眸

好像有很深的意义

虽然你不说

但我好像知道了

总喜欢你叫我起床

是别人的话

我只会赖床

喜欢你说早安的方式

总喜欢你那呆呆的表情

看着我

也许有很多想说

也许只是在发呆

所以

亲爱的

可以和我度过今年的情人节吗？=)

Stabling

well
chinese new year ends
and i starting work at my dad office regulary "no more take leave without reason" LOL
one of the customer service already having her 2 month leave "she's giving birth SOON"
ermm
company's wedsite finally launch
and i appointed to update the catalogs and blogs
everyday stick to the monitor makes my eyes blur and blur
but meant the increasing of eye sight la "i think" and "hope so"
besides
jess (one of my colleague) teach me to print out Purchase Order
muahahaah~
just simple steps laa
well
my jobs aint so heavy and i can view peoples' friendster everyday
just hanging around LOL~
hope really like what dad says
that website can get more enquiries from other company and broaden the network
if get response from other countries is the BEST~~
wooohoo~~
i can get commision XD
so~
now going to step by step upload those information lorr
edit product pics
ahhh my eyes T.T
and now
waiting to receive my NS letter
waiting my SPM result
waiting to go for NS~~~
the good news is
i finally decided going to Taylor's
either ICPU or Foundation Of Communication
dont ask me why
dont say i am a extravagant people
allow me to being selfish for one time
"i been used up for my whole life to think about others!"
and
HOPE I WONT DISAPPOINTING MY DAD
besides
hope what i study worth 100K
good luck for me kay?^^

HEY GUYS, MY PHONE CURRENTLY NOT IN USE, OUT OF SERVICE "AGAIN".
WHILE IT RECOVERING, I USING ANOTHER PHONE,
SO~~~
WHEN SMS ME PLEASE MENTION YOUR NAME OKAY?
I LOST ALL MY CONTACT T.T

小A和小D

小D: 嘿，你的升学计划考虑得怎样了？

小A: 呃，说真的，还在犹豫中，有很多事放不下...

小D: 吓？又改变主意了？你很差耶！好的学校在等你了还在犹豫什么？

小A: 好的学校学费也“很好”不是吗？我不想花费爸妈太多的钱...

小D: 喂，你老爸都已经没问题了你还婆妈什么？几十岁人了还不长大！

小A: 他虽然没说什么，但是我感觉到他好像嫌那里很贵=.= 而且，我又不是什么天才，读书不需要花到100k吧？

小D: 拜托~那间学校的名声和学费成比例好不好？而且我从没听过别人说过那学校的坏话，除了学费贵而已，哈哈！

小A: 不止这个原因啦...

小D: 还有别的？什么哦？

小A: 那是英文学校啊！每个人说英语的，我的英文...你也懂啦~还有我这种烂个性，连和亲戚说话也会发抖结巴的...

小D: 嘿！请问你几岁了？还有你老爸不是告诉过你很多次吗？语言不是问题！你一定会被环境影 响的，不可能你在那里呆了一个星期还完全听不懂他们说什么吧？那你真的是太烂了！

小A: 你忘了吗？3年前的我=.= 那种死heng...超级被动的...现在再加上语言问题，你要我在学校里怎么过？

小D: 都跟你说语言不是问题咯你听不懂是吗？还有，每个人读大学费用都差不多的，而且你老爸 有能力你怕什么？

小A: 谁说的？晏龙读个foundation才6k！我要读的foundation是18k叻！3倍叻！然后再加degree差不多75k，总共加起来有90多千叻！

小D: 小姐啊，UTAR 是 UTAR，怎么能和TAYLORS比呢？你这样比就好像擂茶和curry那样，差很多好不好！

小A: 可是我的朋友都去UTAR啊~我怕我不能适应新环境 T^T

小D: 你真的很不长进的咯~有电话有车你怕什么？去新的环境就是要交新朋友嘛！连在subang都不能适应了你怎么出国？

小A: 其实这不是我的主要原因啦~主要的是“钱钱钱钱”！100k不少叻小姐！感觉到你有点自私 咯~读一个multimedia studies就吞掉100k了，又不是什么能赚大钱的行业，嘁~

小D: 选自己想读的科系有错咩？硬硬逼我读那些business啊~我才不干叻，肯定半路放弃给你看，到时更浪费钱！

小A: 唉~现在唯一能做的就是等成绩咯，希望能拿到奖学金，到时就不懂烦那么多了，环境和朋友我可以慢慢克服~

小D: 奖学金？你慢慢等啦你！你的PMR才“一粒A”，你还敢奢望你的SPM会“多多粒”？做梦啦！告诉你啦！去问你老爸问他是不是真的可以让你读那里~他说勉强的话就在找别间咯！

小A: 说的也是，我这种烂成绩~~唉~~你不要傻咯！我老爸他肯定说他ok的你信不信？就算他ok我心里会过意不去，100k叻！你以为容易赚？？？

小D: 好吧~那么除了TAYLORS你还想读哪一间？

小A: 嗯~之前那个CURTIN不错啦！不过它没有JULY INTAKE，而且老爸说那里还不够好，所以就放弃咯！过后有次上网做个“马来西亚学院及大学research”，看到很多学院，最后看中了之前我所提的SWINBURNE，可是好像没人听过这间，就不要冒险咯~

小D: 厉害啊~这两间都是SARAWAK的叻！难道你那么想离开？没有别间你喜欢的吗？

小A: 呃~我想INTI “也许”不错啦！可是资料不够，还有~嗯，新纪元也不错啦！若是英文教学我会考虑...我没猜错，KL好像也读TAYLORS哦~你知道的，她的家庭状况嘛！

小D: INTI好像对MASS COMM不那么专业哦！KL嘛~我不太清楚哦~很久没见到她了

小A：你很伟大咩？要读那么专业干什么？无聊吗？

小D：你现在也许只是个“普通人”，但大学和中学不同哦！大学你可以从新开始，用真正的自己面对别人，别忘了TAYLORS的MASS COMM有两个月INTERSHIP哦~若你幸运的话可以被派的好的公司，毕业后直接进入公司工作~

小A：我不知道啦！！！刚刚和老爸说了一些关于这件事，我说若读foundation比起读ICPU来的便宜，他说没关系耶！他说拿ICPU好了~天哪！！！我该怎么办？？？有种感觉不像读书了T^T

小D: 那你到底想怎样？

小A：走一步算一步咯！还能怎样？

小D：你别忘了老爸的性格，你知道的，他会来真的~

小A：我知道啊~我能怎么办？

小D：很窝囊耶你！去睡觉啦！

小A：还有一件事，今天去验眼睛了，记得那感觉吗？眼球麻痹，WALAOEH~SIBEH GELI~~~~

小D: 别再提起那件事了，很恐怖耶！那么，手术你想做吗？

小A：一半一半，眼镜带了10多年了，有点想摆脱~可是一双眼睛6多k啦~~~~~很贵咯！

小D：可是那个course不错耶！手术行程才15秒，很适合像你这种胆小鬼！哈哈~为了眼镜，我认为值得！

小A：钱是个大问题！我牙齿都已经花了3k 4k左右了，你老是说弟弟们的花费很多其实是我的最多好不好？

小D：听你这么说，还蛮对的哦~可是手术一次就够了，若不做眼镜还要一直换，一副都已经800多了~

小A: 很烦，不想谈了！拜拜~头痛耶！